Hi there.
I have a couple news bits to tell you.
This bloggy thing and all it entails will now be seen on another site.
www.yesandy.com
I apologize for the inconvenience, but I will be able to add more things to that site like video from the MNCS and other bits like clips of me trying out that stand up comedy thing.
Also, tonight is the Monday Night Comedy Show. 8pm Minneapolis Time.
It would be great to see you there in person, but if you are suffering from being far away, you can watch it online at
www.mnstandupcomedy.com
Hope you can check it out!
Love and miss you all, but I am always kind of around.
Stay Awesome!
Andy
Monday, March 15, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Something to read for your morning paper.
You always think about wonderful things that happen to you and try to find the time to write about them.
sadly, it doesn't happen until you find a little bit of 'motivation' in your pocket.
Today I am wearing the black jacket with the pockets that are there for decoration.
ergo: No motivation.
I suppose a lot has been happening. I don't know who reads this any more, but this one is for you.
I may repeat a lot of stuff, since you are most likely involved in my day to day, but i think there might be a delegation on Endor that might find this useful intel for my assassination. What ewoks want me dead remains a mystery, but i am ever vigilant about small furry things that live in trees. And want me dead.
My punctuation regarding the first person is still dodgy at best. This is a good summation of where I am in these troubling times. Heh. i punctuated that I, didn't i? But I have never been very good at grammar and proper writing styles. Suck a dick, Faulkner...
I am living in a circle of interests that keep me hanging on like a song from the 80's that escapes me. It's either Kim wilde or Belinda Carlisle. Your choice and it's probably right.
So two months have past and I have to tell you the cliff notes since I am both lazy and not very into self aggrandizing. the joke is in the fact that I still keep a blog... anyone? thank you smart people... Still got it.
MNCS: Still happening. Audience numbers are down and booking of acts is still a pain in my arse.
I do find myself defensive about it still, which is the reason i keep going with it. I love it to death, but i feel that my lack of 'give a shits' lately is leading to its demise.
I know that with the warmer weather it will cease to be a bane in my existence, and I am just venting to no god in particular (dionyses, god of wine and whoopie... spelling to be checked at a later time that will never happen).
I go through bouts of 'fuck this' regarding the show. You know this, I know this. Next week is going to be the best show ever done...blah blah blah. But after 115 of these little nuggets of heartburn, you tend to think that you are all out of ideas to make it funny. I continue to be thankful for the support I get week after week, and without them, there would be nothing to do on Mondays but drink and shoot holes in rusted out cars on cinder blocks in my front yard.
Which leads me to topic the Dos.
I have tried stand up comedy.
Finally after bitching and moaning about it for years.
it happened first at grumpy's on a wednesday.
it was the night of the fringe lottery, which now will become the stone that murders more than one bird...I entered the fringe to try and jump start my producing-directing attempt once more and was picked last.
Absolute last.
out of how many folks with fringy stars upon thars, I was the last one picked for the team.
the fact that I ended up last picked somehow ended up as some sort of 'i am a sore loser' prize. I even did a lap around the venue to high five people for my misfortune.
meanwhile, the silver lining that reared its ironic head was that i was cast moments later as a lead in a musical. More on that at a later time.
So last picked, i found myself at Grumpy's. it is one of the worst rooms to do comedy in the world.
But I had nothing to lose, and it was filled with stand up comics who i consider friends even though most of them don't know I have a last name.
I might as well be like Cher or Bono to them. I am sure they call me the fat one if either of the two analogies ever make it to prime time conversation...
Picture me with nothing left to lose and a head full of PBR and ideas that seemed good at the time.
I signed up to do my first stand up set.
Hindsight says be proud of getting up there, but reality keeps me thinking that I am a masochist.
The set lasted all of 3 to five minutes of rambling and feeling inadequate.
But the die was cast.
I tried it, and i wanted to do better the next time.
So I did The corner bar on friday.
Let's skip that night.
Grumpy's again on wednesday next found me talking about killer whales and hitler.
Moving on.
Jump ahead five spots to the other night and the corner Bar again.
This being my fourth official set.
Better. And moving in an upward plane.
Which means in laymans terms, I keep at it.
Growth as a person/performer/Andy/scruffy looking nerf herder.
I find myself writing more as a result, and notebooks that were reserved for staying blank 'just in case' are not being scribbled on like there is no tomorrow.
I have mild smirks during my alone time to make myself feel better.
And so this is an already long winded diatribe, i continue despite myself.
I have been having dreams about ex people I have loved. or still love. i don't know.
As a dark and sad part of the last year, i have trained myself to disavow any kind of warm and fuzzy feeling and am slowly but surely turning into a vulcan despite my tearing up at the tribute to John Hughes at the oscars.
Feelings are for the weak and I am a rock. An Island. And i have poetry and throwing knives to protect me.
These dreams, to get back on point, are vivid and available to go back and edit after each and every push of the snooze bar.
I would like to think that I have some psychic ability to engage in the subconscious of those i think about, but sadly my super powers of the damned remain to be just in my own head.
I think it's better that way, since against my better judgement, I have 99 problems and it's a safe bet that if you are reading this, you constitute about 90 of them.
Like Boyz 2 Men said: 'It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday'
And yes, i did just go there. And yes, I am thinking about Michael Landon and Jim Henson. And so are you. We finally agree on something. They WOULD make the perfect dad.
At any rate, i am thinking of developing a speed habit to avoid sleep altogether.
I assume I can score drugs like that at local high schools.
What else? Oh, theres lots of things. I think of deleting you from my friends list all the time. Just kidding. it's a joke I am working on.
there is Karaoke and people who speak fluent german and girls who wear eyeliner on their lips and for some reason I have been thinking about dollar stores and Boston and Michigan and Irvington and something called Project X that I am not ready to talk about just yet. Breath.
And nursing and new York and things I should have done and promises I have yet to keep and jewelry repair.
if you have any questions, please know that I have a new cell phone number.
I do have unlimited talk and text and internet access, so keep those facebook updates coming, because i get them all on my phone now. I get a beep every 3 seconds and it's lovely.
In other news, i am an announcer for the Twin Cities Terrors Mens roller Derby league.
It's a small step towards finding a girl who can kick my ass, but a step nonetheless.
The last bout is on the 27th of this month, so I am sure there will be more to tell soon.
Um... I have three pairs of sparkly shoes that I got for a dollar a pair from a store that shouldn't be frequented by a white boy from Indiana. Pictures are available on some random facebook page.
I call them my 'hosting shoes'
My mother thinks I am gay because I wear them, but that is the older generation for you. Another blog, another time.
I am also on a diet now. Watching my shit intake and working out 3x a week. I entered into a contest with Comedian Bill Young to lose 50lbs by June 1st.
So far I have lost 5.
I go to a gym with my friend Troy, and while it isn't the same as when i worked out before, it is actually showing results. Less distractions, i think.
Pictures to follow once I find something in spandex that is tasteful.
I am 31 years old, and I don't see an end in sight.
Either this means I am ok, or I am about to jump the shark and i am due for cancellation. But I do think it's gonna be alright. At least I have lots of material to make fun of. there's that.
I hope you are doing well too. I would read your blog, but I think it is very egotistical to think that one is as interesting as me.
Just kidding. I read your blog whether you think so or not. i'm clever that way.
Till next time, remember to Stay Awesome and be nice to people.
Andybear.
sadly, it doesn't happen until you find a little bit of 'motivation' in your pocket.
Today I am wearing the black jacket with the pockets that are there for decoration.
ergo: No motivation.
I suppose a lot has been happening. I don't know who reads this any more, but this one is for you.
I may repeat a lot of stuff, since you are most likely involved in my day to day, but i think there might be a delegation on Endor that might find this useful intel for my assassination. What ewoks want me dead remains a mystery, but i am ever vigilant about small furry things that live in trees. And want me dead.
My punctuation regarding the first person is still dodgy at best. This is a good summation of where I am in these troubling times. Heh. i punctuated that I, didn't i? But I have never been very good at grammar and proper writing styles. Suck a dick, Faulkner...
I am living in a circle of interests that keep me hanging on like a song from the 80's that escapes me. It's either Kim wilde or Belinda Carlisle. Your choice and it's probably right.
So two months have past and I have to tell you the cliff notes since I am both lazy and not very into self aggrandizing. the joke is in the fact that I still keep a blog... anyone? thank you smart people... Still got it.
MNCS: Still happening. Audience numbers are down and booking of acts is still a pain in my arse.
I do find myself defensive about it still, which is the reason i keep going with it. I love it to death, but i feel that my lack of 'give a shits' lately is leading to its demise.
I know that with the warmer weather it will cease to be a bane in my existence, and I am just venting to no god in particular (dionyses, god of wine and whoopie... spelling to be checked at a later time that will never happen).
I go through bouts of 'fuck this' regarding the show. You know this, I know this. Next week is going to be the best show ever done...blah blah blah. But after 115 of these little nuggets of heartburn, you tend to think that you are all out of ideas to make it funny. I continue to be thankful for the support I get week after week, and without them, there would be nothing to do on Mondays but drink and shoot holes in rusted out cars on cinder blocks in my front yard.
Which leads me to topic the Dos.
I have tried stand up comedy.
Finally after bitching and moaning about it for years.
it happened first at grumpy's on a wednesday.
it was the night of the fringe lottery, which now will become the stone that murders more than one bird...I entered the fringe to try and jump start my producing-directing attempt once more and was picked last.
Absolute last.
out of how many folks with fringy stars upon thars, I was the last one picked for the team.
the fact that I ended up last picked somehow ended up as some sort of 'i am a sore loser' prize. I even did a lap around the venue to high five people for my misfortune.
meanwhile, the silver lining that reared its ironic head was that i was cast moments later as a lead in a musical. More on that at a later time.
So last picked, i found myself at Grumpy's. it is one of the worst rooms to do comedy in the world.
But I had nothing to lose, and it was filled with stand up comics who i consider friends even though most of them don't know I have a last name.
I might as well be like Cher or Bono to them. I am sure they call me the fat one if either of the two analogies ever make it to prime time conversation...
Picture me with nothing left to lose and a head full of PBR and ideas that seemed good at the time.
I signed up to do my first stand up set.
Hindsight says be proud of getting up there, but reality keeps me thinking that I am a masochist.
The set lasted all of 3 to five minutes of rambling and feeling inadequate.
But the die was cast.
I tried it, and i wanted to do better the next time.
So I did The corner bar on friday.
Let's skip that night.
Grumpy's again on wednesday next found me talking about killer whales and hitler.
Moving on.
Jump ahead five spots to the other night and the corner Bar again.
This being my fourth official set.
Better. And moving in an upward plane.
Which means in laymans terms, I keep at it.
Growth as a person/performer/Andy/scruffy looking nerf herder.
I find myself writing more as a result, and notebooks that were reserved for staying blank 'just in case' are not being scribbled on like there is no tomorrow.
I have mild smirks during my alone time to make myself feel better.
And so this is an already long winded diatribe, i continue despite myself.
I have been having dreams about ex people I have loved. or still love. i don't know.
As a dark and sad part of the last year, i have trained myself to disavow any kind of warm and fuzzy feeling and am slowly but surely turning into a vulcan despite my tearing up at the tribute to John Hughes at the oscars.
Feelings are for the weak and I am a rock. An Island. And i have poetry and throwing knives to protect me.
These dreams, to get back on point, are vivid and available to go back and edit after each and every push of the snooze bar.
I would like to think that I have some psychic ability to engage in the subconscious of those i think about, but sadly my super powers of the damned remain to be just in my own head.
I think it's better that way, since against my better judgement, I have 99 problems and it's a safe bet that if you are reading this, you constitute about 90 of them.
Like Boyz 2 Men said: 'It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday'
And yes, i did just go there. And yes, I am thinking about Michael Landon and Jim Henson. And so are you. We finally agree on something. They WOULD make the perfect dad.
At any rate, i am thinking of developing a speed habit to avoid sleep altogether.
I assume I can score drugs like that at local high schools.
What else? Oh, theres lots of things. I think of deleting you from my friends list all the time. Just kidding. it's a joke I am working on.
there is Karaoke and people who speak fluent german and girls who wear eyeliner on their lips and for some reason I have been thinking about dollar stores and Boston and Michigan and Irvington and something called Project X that I am not ready to talk about just yet. Breath.
And nursing and new York and things I should have done and promises I have yet to keep and jewelry repair.
if you have any questions, please know that I have a new cell phone number.
I do have unlimited talk and text and internet access, so keep those facebook updates coming, because i get them all on my phone now. I get a beep every 3 seconds and it's lovely.
In other news, i am an announcer for the Twin Cities Terrors Mens roller Derby league.
It's a small step towards finding a girl who can kick my ass, but a step nonetheless.
The last bout is on the 27th of this month, so I am sure there will be more to tell soon.
Um... I have three pairs of sparkly shoes that I got for a dollar a pair from a store that shouldn't be frequented by a white boy from Indiana. Pictures are available on some random facebook page.
I call them my 'hosting shoes'
My mother thinks I am gay because I wear them, but that is the older generation for you. Another blog, another time.
I am also on a diet now. Watching my shit intake and working out 3x a week. I entered into a contest with Comedian Bill Young to lose 50lbs by June 1st.
So far I have lost 5.
I go to a gym with my friend Troy, and while it isn't the same as when i worked out before, it is actually showing results. Less distractions, i think.
Pictures to follow once I find something in spandex that is tasteful.
I am 31 years old, and I don't see an end in sight.
Either this means I am ok, or I am about to jump the shark and i am due for cancellation. But I do think it's gonna be alright. At least I have lots of material to make fun of. there's that.
I hope you are doing well too. I would read your blog, but I think it is very egotistical to think that one is as interesting as me.
Just kidding. I read your blog whether you think so or not. i'm clever that way.
Till next time, remember to Stay Awesome and be nice to people.
Andybear.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
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