Is this all you've got, God? It's me, Andy

Yo.

I have become a wicked lazy dude when it comes to blogging. I don't think anyone reads this one anyway. Not since I moved to that other site that I didn't even own.
And you know what that got me? A lot of posts that are completely lost now. Yay!

So if you read anything on that other site, Yesandy dot com, you were privy to info that is lost to the ages. I'm sure almost 10% of it was pretty good, too.

Well, now I have no documentation to prove I existed then.

Oh well. Onwards and moving forth and such.

Here is today's thingy:

I have been super responsible father of the child lately. It isn't big news, it's just something that i think is important. So I have been doing my part and showing Kim that I am worth a damn, but if you read this, you know that really doesn't mean anything.
We have good days and bad days.
And usually, I can just pass everything off as hormones or me not being a bleep on her radar.
Whatever, my life sucks, blah blah blah.
Today I took the bus to her house to pick up her car and get the tires replaced.
She hit a mondo pot hole a couple nights ago and blew out her back tire.
Messed up her rim too.
But I was just happy that she was safe and that the only bad thing that happened was her burrito got cold. (which she saw as the worst part of the night)
There is more to the story, but we need to get to todays drama, or it might expire.
I get to her house and she shows me a lot of neat things that one of her friends had given her for Graham. They were lovely. However everything is trumped by my Lindsey McDonald Dorsey, who purchased Graham the crib we registered for at Target. Seriously. That totally sets the bar pretty high for my family members, who I thought might get the bigger stuff. (But there is still that sweet transport crib and breast pump...)

So a HUGE thanks to Linds. Love you to the moon.

Where was I?
Oh yeah. I was at her house.
I entered her room and saw her nice big bed she got recently and noticed something that made my heart break.
We have matching framed pictures of Graham's first ultrasound. (I actually have 4 framed ultrasound pics all around my room)
Stuck in the frame's corner was a strip of photobooth pictures of Kim and her ex (guy before me.) One of those nice ones where you are having a good time and kissing and sticking your tongue out at each other. good times.
He's the guy who was abusive to her.
And maybe I shouldn't make this public. Maybe I should keep it all inside and explode over some tiny thing somewhere down the line. maybe i am an asshole to bring it up.
Perhaps I deserve everything that she has put me through in the last few months.

But you know what?

I don't fucking hit girls. or anyone I care about. And on a side note, I don't have any pictures of ex girlfriends on the ultrasound photo's of my unborn child. that isn't a choice I would make.

So that is something i am thinking about while I try to get some sleep. And I am sure it will seep into tomorrow.
I think I have an ulcer now, but am too poor to see a doctor to find out if it's just in my head.

On that note, if anyone has any work for me, I'll take it. Anything. I'll clean up puke if needed. i need some insurance for my son who is due in 10 weeks.




Goodnight.

Andy

ps- I don't like going to bed angry at things I can't change. I feel completely useless.