Oh. Hi there. I forgot I did this too.

So guess who fell off the face of the earth? This guy did.
There has been some tumultuous bits of this and that in the AndyVerse.
Long story short: I have been thinking long and hard about the hows and most definitely the whys of my decision to move to Indianapolis.
And by thinking really hard about it, I mean just that- Thinking. All by myself. This whole thing was going to influence one person the most, and it happens to be the guy I see when I look in a mirror.
Lately, meaning the last almost three years, I haven't liked that guy.
I can get all down on myself for not being where I want to be, or for the things I have done or not done to get where I am. I'm not going to, because what would that accomplish? Nada.
Everything I have done until this point, the only thing I would do differently is quit smoking and exercise a bit more. Ok. Exercise at all. Period.
I am who I am. I can't change it, and it would be a fool's errand if I tried. I have very good friends who like me, and a few who even love me. I can't complain at all for who I am as a person.
Good Job, Andrew...
One thing I have spent way too much time on in my life is dwelling on one event or series of events that helped push me towards the idea that getting the hell out of Dodge was the number one solution to my worries.
Leaving town would somehow mend everything that has haunted me.
If you know me, you know what I am talking about.
It has left me listless and bitter.
Bitter towards people I thought were meant to be some of my closest friends through life, and wonderful people to collaborate with in future projects.
Haunted me. It's a really apropos phrase. I see reminders of getting stabbed in the back so often now, I feel I can rarely see the good side of things.
There is a support system here that I have neglected. And I had trouble asking for help anyway. I might be kind of a control freak. Hell, I don't let Roni and Lindsey help with chairs very much on Monday nights. I just know what I want, and have a hard time conveying simple things that could streamline most processes. It's my way, and I need to work on it.
As for those mentioned earlier about friends who I thought were friends, and now they are not: That's so tricky to talk about. It's a two way street, and I know I could have tried to keep in contact. All it takes, I suppose is a phone call. But when you are really down, and you need some help getting through the mucky muck, asking for help or asking someone to just hang out with so you don't feel so alone is really hard.

I have the most beautiful friends in Indiana. Amongst the oldest and dearest. They don't care if I make them laugh or if I sit in a corner and read the necronomicon upside down. Being surrounded by theater-ish and Improv-y and comedians and poets and entertainers in general, I get such a high off of being around people that hit a re-set switch in my head. They don't judge or expect anything out of me, and know I am being very broad and generalistic here. I don't speak for all, I speak for me.

And yeah, getting back to topic: Everything I can do in Indianapolis, I can do in minneapolis. Living in Indy for years as a kid, all I could think of was how much I wanted to be back in Minnesota. I love it here. My Mom is here. my sisters are here. I have nieces and nephews here. I spent almost all the time I was living in Indiana as a kid wishing I was back in the Twin Cities. And then fate threw a wrench into the machine and helped me discover the kind of person I was and am. What kind of people I am attracted to as friends and what I want to do for the rest of my life. Towards the end, i started to not hate Indy. It surprised no one more than yours truly.
And I did go back to Indy for a short time about 10 years ago this June. Which is why this is kind of ironic for me to do what comes next.
Only this time, I think it will be healthier for me.
So much for that long story...
I'm not going to be moving permanently to Indianapolis. I thought it was a good idea, and now I don't.
Other things have added to the 'why' I am not moving, but the parties that need to know, know. And it's painful enough to live with it, I certainly dont have to blog about how much I miss her.
Sometimes life throws you shitty punches. Distance is a harsh bitch of a mistress, but I have to live with everything I do and say. I will never take back the 'I love you's' in my life, and with any luck, I'll be able to say it again. Some day. Maybe to Amanda. Who knows?
Never any regrets. Not with stuff like that.

Anyhow, my plan thus far is to take a bit of a vacation from the oh so hard life I lead. (tongue is in cheek)
I'm going to Indy until late August and I am going to try something new for a bit.
A challenge I am making for Andrew Brynildson.
While there, I will sort out the stuff that dreams are made of and try to figure out what kind of niche I am trying to make for myself.
This is all very healthy and sort of well thought out.
Keep in mind that in the end I am a male, and therefore mostly stupid.

As for the Monday Night Comedy Show.
Who knows?
It isn't any secret that I love it to death. I go on and on about it here enough to say that's accurate.
I know I am coming back in August.
I also know that I want it to continue.
I hope that our audience sticks with us, and remembers us fondly over the summer.
Maybe they will be back with us. Maybe new people will come and take their place.
Nothing is all set up and ready to go. Nothing comes in a neat little package. And nothing comes with a big red ribbon that will not cause you misery in the end.
That might have been a double negative. I was never good with those. Nor dolling out sage advice or wisdom. At least not in blogs. Try me after four whiskey diets. I am Buddha then.
As far as MNCS is concerned, stay tuned. I'm looking forward to what comes next just like you.
Hell, I am looking forward to what comes next for me.
But I am not going to sit around waiting for it to come find me. Nor am I going to hide and avoid places because I don't want to see some dipshits who think they own the world I am a part of.

The MNCS #96 was last Monday. And aside form it being 150 degrees in the beat, it was a good one. I apologize that this missive was such a long time coming. It seems I only blogged once in April. And I have been neglecting the YesAndy blog.
But I digress and take you back to talking about the mncs. You know you love it.

Joel has since fixed the problem of Hellfire heat by replacing the filters on the machine that conditions the air.
So next week, where we were not having a show, but now we are, will be much more pleasant.
I announced that the show would go on to much applause. People seemed pleased that they would have something to do on monday nights coming this fall.
I hope we get to stay at the Beat.

So today I am at work. I talked with Svetlana the Brave and Bold this morning, which puts a smile on my face despite the sticky wicket that we currently find ourselves in. She has a friend who is getting married this August, and I am to officiate the service. My first wedding since I became an 'Ordained' minister about 7 years ago.
So that's a special thing. If you find yourself on August 1st feeling that love is in the air, it is probably from an epic poem that I will read at the service.
Actually, I was going to read Beowulf.

Just kidding. I will read The Canterbury Tales. The whole thing.

Meanwhile, if anyone has a truck or a van or a station wagon I could borrow to move my stuff to the SouthSide of minneapolis, I could use the help.

On the plus side, I plan on Staying Awesome today. You do the same.

Andy