When in Illinois, one must blog about it. and I saved a kid.

Chicago.
A love/hate relationship if there ever was. I love to hate this town.
I keep hoping someone will show me a good time in this burg, and I came really close when I was at nick Vogt's wedding a few years ago. Lisa and Jenny were there, so life was about as perfect as Chicago allows. I remember riding the train feeling like ass because I was sad that two of my closest were on the road going the opposite direction from me.
The nearest I had felt that way was when I was on the train coming back to Minneapolis earlier in November.
And that's another thing: It is now December 1st. Your Mom is December 1st. I am NOT impressed so far, and we are nine and a half hours in.
I am sitting in the Union Station Caribou Coffee. The nice lady behind the counter told me how much she liked my scarf, and i told her without hesitation that my friend Lisa made it for me in about 20 minutes. I think the Minnesota has infected me again when in other cities. This lady doesn't know Lisa. Nor will she ever know Lisa. Unless I am completely engulfed by the Scandinavian madness and invite her down to Indy for a weekend getaway. This lady was rather attractive. And she smiled when I was being silly. Fine. I will add the bagel and shmeer for a dollar. I am such a sucker.

I remember LeighLeigh telling people she could sell a ketchup Popsicle to an Eskimo wearing white gloves on a hot summer day. I don't need that kind of salesperson. I just need some cute girl who reaches about six feet and smells like coffee. Oh, and she wore those Lisa Loeb glasses. yeah...
So see you later, folks. I am living in the Caribou Coffee just off the canal until my sanity returns.

And we're back.

So my breakfast with an old friend didn't work out today. She was on her way, then called into a meeting in a suburb. Maybe Sunday. It's only been two years...Whats another six days?

So what else can I tell you? Don't take megabus? Ok. Don't do that. yeah it's cheap, but you get what you pay for.
It would be a horse of a different color if they would make the driver tell the people to form a fucking line. Just start a cue. that's all. it's like a Kohls on Black Monday every time they start loading. And let me tell you, I really hate line cutters.
They are like locust people. Locust people from space who eat babies.
Oh, speaking of babies, some little kid totally fell out of his seat in the middle of the night. Right in front of me.
And I saved him.
I always sit on teh lower level of the double decker bus because I don't like people who ride the bus (read:I don't like myself) Anyhow, this little guy was sitting with his mom, and she was asleep. He woke up and started exploring. he was a little less than two. I can never tell. AnniePants looks like she's 17 already. they grow so fast...
They are sitting on the opposite side of the aisle and those seat are a bit more elevated. Kid is sitting on the outside seat (bad parenting) and sits up and leans over the armrest.
And keeps leaning. like a Lemur.
Just over the edge. I'm seeing this in slow motion, and the older lady next to me shifts suddenly because she sees him too.
Activate robot ninja reflexes.
the kid is going headfirst onto the aisle of the megabus, but I fucking catch him! Can you dig that hot shit?!
I was really proud of myself, and I could tell that the old lady was too, but she just let out a whispered 'Whew'
The Mom woke up and grabbed her son and strapped him into the seat. She did give me this look like I was really trying to steal him and take his youth. Whatever. I am an unsung hero today. The little guy would have really hurt himself. Your welcome, sleepy inattentive mom. If I was falling over the edge of a ravine (metaphor for Bus aisle) you can bet that my Mom would be there to catch me. AND she would have a hallmark card. And it would have a dollar for every year I have been alive inside. just saying, my mom is ever vigilant. also, your cell phone makes too much noise when you text. Turn that shit off. MY mom doesn't even know what texting is.
I digress.
Another bit that was strange was that he made NO SOUND WHATSOEVER. His creepy silence leads me to believe he is the next incarnation of the Buddha, and is wise beyond his years. But The Buddha would not topple over an armrest for no reason whatsoever but to teach me a lesson in humility or respect for life or something deep. Maybe he just wanted the mean old lady sitting next to me to talk to me. Seriously. I said hello. I even offered her some beef jerky. Whatever. I am a kid saver and I earned a place in nirvana. Not the band. The Ethereal plane where badass heroes go when they are killed on a megabus headed to chicago.

So yeah. I thought that that would be a great opener for a trip to Indianapolis.
I feel accomplished. Maybe December will be a good karma month.

Ok. I have to down this wretched coffee and catch my connector to Indy.
Catch you on the flip.

Stay Awesome or I won't say 'Bless you' when you sneeze.
Andy