I'm worried about my baby.

This is something that has been on my mind for a longtime:
Actually, it is more of a 'weekly basis' thing.
I started The Monday Night Comedy Show in May of 2007 as a new place for improvisational comedians to come and do their thing.
That was it. Nothing else. I didn't want stand up comics to sully the mood.
I was working with Butch and Improv a go go since day one, and by May of 07, I was in one of the deepest depressions of my life thus far.
If you are a regular reader, you know why, let's not go there.
Go Go is one of the most wonderful things that this town could have asked for. Butch, Dan and Larry started the Revolution and they should be applauded for it.
In homage to what they began, and seeing that there was a finite amount of room on the stage every sunday night in Uptown, I began the MNCS.
I wanted there to be another stage where people could play and make others laugh. And then the more I thought about it, the more I started to realize that the neighborhood didn't need a red headed stepchild of Go Go, nor did it need another Six Ring Circus(which happens on Tuesday night's) Uptown had all that. And I wouldn't dare compete with the two of them. That would be a dick move, and I would get like three people to come see the show and all three of them would be my family. And even they don't come very often to see stuff...
Hence, I went the way of Variety.
Something to keep people coming back. Something for everyone. Because if you didn't like the first act, all you had to do was stick around for the 2nd one.
I was working with Stand up comedians back when the BNW did Stand Up a Go Go, which was created by Jeff Hopkins. They were ok. I was an improv purist then, and a bit snobby.
And let me tell you, I have seen some really funny stuff from the comics who work the MNCS room. I don't regret adding on stand up at all.
But something has happened in the last few months to the improv acts at the MNCS.
They aren't there.
I understand that Monday night's are hard for some, but hard for everyone?
Trying to get an improv act for the show is like pulling teeth.
Now, I have heard some rumor about The Beat being a crappy place to improvise. And don't worry, I know who has been saying it, and it hurts, because they say they are friends.
I can't spend all my time calling or messaging people about improvising at the show all the time.
I feel like a failure. I suck at producing the show, and I know I suck at hosting, but it's the one thing I look forward to every week. Is it a shitty place to improvise?
I started the show thinking I would be bombarded with calls from six ringers who have had to pay to perform for a long time. I was SO wrong.
I often wonder if the vast majority even knows about the show.
If some threats I got a while ago due to who I had helping me with the show, actually were followed through.
I'm probably paranoid. I know I am. I just get so tired trying so hard to make it a good show.
I wonder if it will survive after I leave in June. If it will even be missed if it does fizzle out.
I know that it won't, though. Something will happen, and that something will be called The Monday Night Comedy Show. If it has Improv in it will be anyone's guess.
You know the only reason I don't go to as many Improv a Go Go's is that I worry about running into the owner of the space and have him make me want to jump off a cliff? I hate that he has that power with me.
I'd be there every week if things were just slightly different, but like Linds said, "Save the future by fixing the past before it has passed, Meaning Now.... My Time machine only goes forward"
This is one of the reasons I am moving. To get away from all the bad feelings from hopes and dreams that never amounted to anything. To get away from all those promises that were made to 'stick with it' or the years of ' your loyalty will pay off'
Minnesota should have ended differently for me. It really should have.
But lately, all I can think about is starting over. That sounds so fucking refreshing to me.
I once swore to the Moon and Stars that I would never return to Indiana as anything but a visitor. Never again would I have an I.D. that said I was from the Naptown.
I've lied to the moon and Stars too many times to count on all fingers and toes. Maybe that's why I am so blue... I shout out falsehoods to the heavens, and the heavens are pissed.
Or it could all be because I can't find any new groups who want to improvise on Monday's. Now I know why Garfield hated Mondays: He was trying to book Improvisers...
At least I still have Awesome Stand up and slam poetry.
Speaking of, Dessa Darling From Doomtree is performing this week.
Among others, and I am sure I'll post something about them, but it's good to get the word out if you have a well known talent playing your gig.
But then, i can't produce a show to save my fucking life...
Maybe tomorrow will have all the answers I need. Or my inbox.

Stay Awesome or I'll wish this all on you.
Andy


Post script- Ok. I read this one over, and I honestly just wanted to vent about how hard it is to find improv acts for the comedy show that means so much to me.
It ended much darker than intended, and I feel bad about it, but only to a point.
I dont edit very well, and I know I come off as Emo and in need of a good punch in the head.
I'm just sad that something I thought was catching on, really isn't in one aspect that I really needed to catch on.

I work at the beat tomorrow in the AM, by the way. If you want to stop in, I will be the one re-reading 'American Gods' for the 10th time and hoping people actually tip. I might even make you a latte...