I'm quite glad the magic works...

The trick of the trade for today is:

Opening the creamer carafe to make the half and half come out.

Oh, and tip your barista, nerd.
And by 'Nerd', I mean 'Old guy'

Today is a really nice day. I am running on less than three hours of shut eye, and the herd hasn't come back to the pasture* for the roundup** I fear the worst. Maybe a coyote. Maybe a bandit. I was whittling a stick into a smoother stick around the fire last night, and I cut my finger with the blade. I will have to use some of Dr. Phinneus McAdoo's snake oil cure-all that I got at the general store last October before I started on my long lonely cowboy thing.

*They go to pastures, don't they?
** You round up cattle, don't you?

That was me making fun of myself because I used the phrase 'Shut-Eye'
Speaking of making fun of myself, that will be happening on JULY 7th at The Monday Night Comedy Show.
First act:
GAY/STRAIGHT ALLIANCE
some stand up by BILL YOUNG
CHICKPROV

And the second act will feature a roast of me.
For no other reason than to entertain you's guys.

It is going to be hosted by Josh Carson and helped by The Dez. Two people whome I rather like, but sadly, are easier targets to make fun of than me.

Because they are both lame-o shitheads.

See? I can't insult people well. I am going to suck at this.

So mark your calendars, and if you want to help roast me, talk to The Dez or Myself. We will be having a meeting about it all over drinks, and since it is only 2 weeks from tonight, you must do it before next week. There are deadlines, people. Deadlines. This isn't Cambodia. I don't know what that means. I need more sleep.

If you cannot make the 7th of july, you can always come to the show tonight at 8:00pm
Doors open at 7:30pm and admission is the wee $3
The Beat Coffeehouse. If you don't know where I do it after over a year, you are not coming to the show. Let's be honest. You know what? We are breaking up...

Also, we have buttons for sale. they are 2 for a dollar, and have built in 'Pussy-Magnets'

Oh! I forgot to tell you that in the near future, my dear friend Terry Pounds will be filming an episode of his new show 'Microscopic Life' about The Monday Night Comedy Show! Details are soon in the coming, but I promise you that I will be plugging the hell out of it.


Speaking of plugging some hell*, TCIF is coming up this weekend, and if you haven't bought tickets to The Neutrino Video Project on Friday at 12:30AM (technically Saturday Morning)
go to twincitiesimprovfestival.com for more info than I can give you. I am just a man. I have limits.

*More like, Hella funny! Whooooo! Nap! I need one!

MN FRINGE FESTIVAL UPDATE: It's still going to happen. Go see 'Waking in Minneapolis' at The Mixed Blood Theatre on the West bank.

INDYFRINGE UPDATE: My show will be fucking radical. Like 'Gleaming the Cube' Radical. That is Like Christian Slater, Radical. I should know: I was in St. Anthony Main all day yesterday for a wedding. They filmed bits of 'Untamed Heart' there. Don't you get it?!
Elsa never really believed in the grail. She thought she'd found a prize.
And what did you find?
Illumination.
lalallallaalalalalalalalalalaalalalalala.

I really need to get on a better sleep schedule.

It sucks that George Carlin died. I liked him way better than other people.

What else?
My home life fucking sucks.
I don't really like living with the new one.
In fact, I straight out hate it.
We will be looking for a replacement straight away.
Interested? contact me.

I think people should feel safe in their digs. I don't feel safe. People who are constantly stoned and are naturally spacey to boot are not conducive to me sleeping well at night.
It's for my cat's safety that we are doing this.
It's always about Selina Kyle Freedom Cat's well being. I don't want her to become a super bitch. Oh wait...

I'm feeling real negative today. I need another vacation. Or a sci fi convention. Or shakabuku.
Or a radical shift in attitude.

I'm sure everything will seem like skittles and beer at 3pm

See you tonight at the show. You know who you are. Or do you?

Stay Awesome or I'll stop telling you to.

Andy