goes one way, then the other.

I did it. it's official.
I changed my ringtone. And it is so cool.
I hope for your sake you are next to me when I get a call.

Speaking of official things:

I am the proud owner of www.mondaynightcomedyshow.com

Since I am of the poor persuasion these days, I don't have the cash to actually make a site that works. maybe soon, though. I just need some corporate sponsors and a benefactor.
Sadly, that will have to wait since I lost all my charm and charisma in the war.

The Show looks like it is shaping up so far.
Bookings are full for the first two weeks back, and the 30th of November is almost done too.
WonderDave is going gangbusters with the booking of amazing spoken word and slam acts. He has people well into the first of the year.
Such a showoff.


On a more somber note, I have been taking stock of things lately. Trying to figure out what my problem is. Why i feel like I can do very little right, and how to get that spring in my step that used to be there.
Consider the last ten years of my life.
On second thought, think of ten years ago and then think of now. Or recently, as it were.
Ten years ago was 1999.
Now-ish is 2009.

Math lesson over.

Where was I then? I was moving to Indianapolis to be with someone I loved very much.
Where am I this year? Or more to the point: What was I doing a few months ago up until what seems recent, but isnt? I moved to Indianapolis to be with someone I loved very much.

There is a very scary parallel to these stories. They are both people I still love. They are people who will be in my life for a long time, I think. Well, I hope.
Am I stuck in an endless loop of my own creation, or is it just a messed up coincidence?
Was Lincoln secretary named Kennedy? Was Kennedy's secretary named Lincoln?
Am I a fool who chooses the wrong fights in my head for the sake of going mad in the least amount of time?
It all boils down to me not being confident in any choice i make, so I rarely make them anymore.
The choice i make concerning love might just be my last one. But then my last one was my last one and so on and so on until I make it back to 1999.
Now that song is in my head, and all I want to do is go to sleep and not have to think about anything.
But now I am worried about everything and frustrated that I cannot control any aspect of my life aside from who I choose to have silly infatuations with that will ultimately go nowhere. It all goes nowhere, right? I'm that crazy cat lady who gets to watch everyone he has ever loved be with someone else. Or at least I am going to be. 41 year old Andrew is headed to Indianapolis yet again to watch everything he wanted turn from platinum to earthtone in a span of six months or less.
None of this make sense to you. I'm going through a process in my head.

Tonight there is a screaming 21 and 31 year old hoping that the 41 year old isn't feeling as lonely.

A