I'll take recap for 37 please, Alex.

And so it was. I became 31 years old last Friday night. Cells have died and been recreated several time since birth, and here we go with a who' who and what's what of the celebration of an anniversary of the making of a person who answers to the name 'Andy' But I prefer Danger king... And I am considering being okay with Tater Tot. But that last one is still in the R & D Department.

Dateline: Friday July 10 2009.
Location: The Irvington Neighborhood of Indianapolis Indiana. A place that I am liking very much, as I am surrounded by the best of the best.
Don't worry, internet travelers and Twin Cities residents, you still are ok in my book. For now. Dun Dun Dun.

I tried waking as early as my old and frail body would allow.
My dreams were a mixture of worrying about disastrous car crashes and unknown whereabouts of loved ones. Not a great night of dreaming, but it was on my mind as I fell asleep. It turns out, I CAN save people's lives in my REM cycles, and consider myself a hero in dreamland. And I wear a cape. But it is a tasteful number that compliments my legs, which I am told look pretty good. And that is from a trusted source.

There were a few text messages, and a few phone calls before i sauntered out to appreciate my kingdom.
Hellos and good wishes came my way, and the dreams of the previous night were quickly dissolving into vague memory.
Amanda had to work in the morning, so I was left with Lindsay and Lisa. Anniepants too, so I wasn't alone to contemplate my destiny just yet. There were things that had to be done. Errands for me usually only include one stop to the Speedway (SuperAmerica) to buy various sundries like hot dogs and Powerade in the refreshing red and orange flavors.
But Lindsay agreed to go on a quest with me to a couple of thrift stores so I could find a black suit jacket that I could wear later that night when masses would gather in my honor and sing covers of popular songs while drinking heavily.
Since I am a big guy, most jackets at thrift stores are much too small.
As was the case with both of the ones we went to.
I wish overweight guys would donate more clothing.
That, or I wish i wouldn't rely on gas stations for more of the food I consume daily.
Out of curiosity, we stopped by a big store simply called 'Flea Market'
It was amazing. I found things there that I didn't know I needed yet, and still even more stuff after that.
As if drawn by a higher power, we found ourselves at the 'Peddlers Mall' which was a brightly lit, cleaner version of The Flea Market. (The Flea Market smelled of cooking chili made with meat slaughtered in the back courtyard of a nearby apartment complex. Still, it is never good to go to a place called 'Flea Market' on an empty stomach, as your personal values go out the window. Still, we resisted)
Lindsay picked up a very attractive piece that takes my breath away every time I see it. To call it simply a piece of wood with a picture of two Unicorns would make the gods angry.
There are no words for its glory. The craftsmanship. The patina that seems to glow with the fantastic power of a thousand dying suns. The amazmagorical beasts themselves with the powerful horns and strong bodies waiting to enchant you and heft you upon their back to take you to the castle where you will cast a spell of magical power on a damsel who needs a good rogering...A Magical Rogering...
It is so beautiful. It is the only thing that matters in these darkest of times. It is a fucking piece of wood that someone decopaged a unicorn picture onto and then left it to rot in a dungeon until it chose the correct owner. And that owner was Lindsay. She may think she purchased it, but it purchased her. And it looks quite fancy above the fireplace next to my batman action figure and battle axe.
I thought that the prize for best find couldn't be attained, but in the end, I won.
I picked up the head of Darth Vader that you wear over your own head. And it makes you sound like him. Or you can press a button on the candy dispenser thing he wears on his chest to make James Earl Jones tell you that you cannot resist the power of the darkside. Or in this case, the Peddlers Mall.

Then we went to Meijer and she was offered one of the motorized carts by the nice pre-teen girl who saw Lindsay's broken ankle.
Lindsay promptly refused, which I will never ever forgive her for if I live to be a thousand years old and we all have hover jet packs.
I wanted to ride the cart. It was my birthday, and she betrayed me.
I have an enemy, and while her taste in wall decor is impeccable, she broke the number one rule:

If a store employee offer you the motorized cart thing, you take it. When you crash into the Paper towel display, it is her ass, not yours.
It was like getting the keys to the Bentley and saying that you would rather take the razor scooter to get to prom.

On my list, Shiv. On my list...

However, I did forget to tell that i found a very impressive sculpture with an owl on top for Amanda. She likes owls, and ceramic things from the 70's. I know I won her heart with that. Though she may smash it to bits when I turn my back. It's the thought that counts, right?

Then what? well, I wrote to my Mom, posted a blog and got ready for the night's festivities.

We went to Nippers Bar and Grill in Carmel to sing Karaoke.
I was visited by the Birthday Pig, which is a tradition in Lisa's family that I had always wanted to be a part of. The Birthday pig sent me Thirty One cupcakes (one for each year I have been around)that kicked ass and helped to soak up the booze that we were all drinking with reckless abandon.
Songs were sung, and lots of video taken.
I was with wonderful people, and I didn't forget for a moment how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends.
I asked Fingers to drop his talent for singing down a few notches so as to not appear better than me. Sadly, his worst performance was ten times better than my worst. I still managed to have a great time.
Some of the best pictures from the night are posted up on facebook, and I am in charge of adding the second batch.
More to come, i am sure.
Krysta Kendall, an old friend from high school dropped by to say hi, even though it was her 10 year wedding anniversary.
I was touched, and it was good to meet the man she has chosen to spend her life with.
Nice guy too. Looks like my friend Dave Mitch From Minneapolis. It kind of freaked me out a little.
There was an Andrea Grube there, and a Matthew Russ, and a Brooke Nelson, and The Snarky Andrew, And a Brett Stevens, and a Jenny Macias and a Jeremy Murray and a Stephanie Lenger and a Dark Snack, whose real name is Wendy, but I know her through LiveJournal. She apparently lives in irvington, and might become chummy with the girls.
My dorch gang was all there, save for Jenny & Hammam. They couldn't make it due to having a teeny tiny baby boy named Adam. I missed them a lot and wished they were able to watch me massacre Bon Jovi.
Having the majority of my people there was the best gift. It's hard to wrangle them all together. kind of like herding cats. Amanda, Lindsay, Lisa, James, Jenny, Hammam Fingers, Jen: I love you all to the Moon and back.

The night was perfect, and it was one for the memory books.
I was hugged by many and loved by all. And the fact that it was my birthday didn't matter. I know they would do that on any regular day.

Did I mention that everyone looked wicked hot? Well, the women did, anyway. It was hard to make eye contact, and i was dizzy from being so proud of the fact that I surround myself with attractive ladies just like Charlie and his angels.

At 11:11pm, I made sure I was outside looking up at the sky. it's become a tradition for me to be alone for a few moments so I can thank whoever is responsible for my good fortune and anything else that seems to be going well.
Then, as if by cue, my Amanda came outside to make sure she was the first person I kissed as a 31 year old. Wishes do come true sometimes.

Being older isn't so bad. I went to cracker Barrel the next day to inaugurate me into the ranks of the elderly, and the fact that I drank coffee during dinner was a sign of respect for the good Scandinavians who came before me... And I may have wanted to buy a quilt... Whatever. I have more years ahead than behind still.

Thank you to all who sent me good wishes, and those who showed up to sing with me.

Here is to the next year, I wish that every night would end with Amanda in a Vader helmet dancing the Vogue.

Stay Awesome.

Andy