I found my glasses and other tales

I had a yard sale yesterday.
It's ok if you didn't come, It just means you weren't really invited.
Just a private affair for my neighbors and the one lady who was a yard sale professional.
The sale didn't start until 9am. She was there at 8:30am
That is a half of an hour before for those who are not down with start times.
Which she was not.
But I have things to tell you about before the lady. We will revisit her later.

The night before the sale, I was closing The Beat. Our Coffeehouse closes at 11pm, and at about 9-ish, I finally got a hold of my landlord about having the sale in his front yard.
He was very casual about it and made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. I have been tiptoeing around him since the Twin Cities Improv Festival afterbar party in June when over 50 people came to the mansion at 2 in the morning and wanted to prove how much funnier they were than each other by being loud. When I was scolding Lisa Burton about screaming how good her burrito was (telling her that my landlord was sleeping just above her head) I turned around to be face to face with the landlord himself. He was in a bad humour. And threatened eviction.
At any rate, he was his casual self (being a Canadian) and the sale was 'Thunderbirds Go!'

I got home an pulled tables out front, set to making signs and then found stuff to sell.
The sale itself went pretty well. Getting back to the Lady from before briefly:
She came when I was running on an hour and a half of sleep.
And she had been to the sale I had last year, but was wondering if there was a girl involved this time around.
I told her yes, but the girl was still asleep and had been throwing up the night before from a 'Powerade' bender. That's what she claimed made her puke. All over the toilet. Which i cleaned up because my gag reflex is that of a 30 year old man with a nasty habit of wanting to puke when he even thinks of puke.
I don't even like the word 'puke'.
So she claimed powerade was the enemy and not the gin or whiskey or the 40's of Heinekin that have been strewn about the Mansion as of late.
'The girl is sleeping' I told the yard sale Vet.
'She might be up in a while. And also, the sale starts in a half hour. It isn't time yet. Try back later in the morning.

She came back at 9.

The girl roommate was still asleep. (and didn't even put anything out in the sale. not even the golf clubs that have been in the hallway since May. Which she said she wanted to sell in May. Just sayin')

I told the Pro Lady 'I don't think this is the right sale for you this year'

And then she put a gypsy curse on me, because no one bought even ONE of my mint in package Batman action figures. Not one.
And so, I have resigned myself to owning all of them. I will be putting them up on the wall in my bedroom later today.

So ends the Yard Sale Story. You have been a good listener. And now we have snacks.

Today I am going home and prepping for the Arrival of Amanda. She gets in via Magabus in the early AM. And my house is a wreck. This will not do.
So instead of finishing the adventure play about my hat and the criminals who end up dying in a fire, I will wish you a great day and I hope you come to tomorrow night's Monday Night Comedy Show, where I will be performing with MIME RIFLE and looking forward to seeing you.
And don't worry, I might finish the play tomorrow or something.

Promises, Promises....

Stay Awesome and all that elven trickery.

Andy