My gift is my song. And this one's for you.

Since I don't like lying to you, gentle reader, i am going to be upfront and honest to you.
Starting with this sentence:

I am super duper affected by the magical powers of whiskey and Diet Coke.
The Gypsy curse that the two have upon me are a most potent and cruel mistress that I will never again underestimate. I suggest you feel the same way.

On side note, while I am very inebriated and unable to operate heavy machinery, I am overly conscious of my spelling and Grammar. Hence, I am using the spell-check more than three times per sentence. However, it does not prevent the occasional- Der Der Der. I typed that giggling loudly, hoping that it would wake up my neighbors and I would be given the opportunity to shout: 'If it's too loud, you're too old!'

Sadly, I did not wake up the neighbors in the style of Brian Adams. But if I do anything, I do it for you. Never forget this, dear Blog reader. I have such a thing for you that I just don't know how to express it. (this was me flirting with you)

So tonight I went to a thing called LOL. I would usually poo poo this title because I think Text message or Instant message 'Slang' should be left to the dead or dying of society.
This evening will be the exception.
birthed from the womb of the brain of Greg 'The Dez' Hernandez, LOL is a Stand up comedy Show of epic proportions.
Not to be misunderstood, LOL asks you to jump, and your first reaction is ' How high?'
It is a good show, and a welcome face to the senior photos that is Minneapolis Comedy Shows.
And if you asked nicely, I am sure LOL would stand next to a Bale of hay or a wagon wheel.
Just like your senior photo.
Not mine, though. Mine was classy and made of awesome. Just ask my friends and family.
Speaking of Friends, check this hot shit out:

I am to become an uncle once more!I was told by a Sexy little bird named Amanda that Jenny will be giving birth to the official 'Andrew Jr.'
My official response was ' Oh Hell yes! An Arranged marriage!!!'
Referring to Annabeth Irene West's birth from July.
I don't know any guy who doesn't like an older woman, so My man Andrew Jr. will be knee deep in Annie-Pants by the time he is 13. By 'Knee deep' I mean that he will be respectful and kind to Annie and will buy her flowers on his own accord and never ever have to have me prompt him into being a good man to my lovely niece. Seriously. I will fuck his shit up if he is ever less than a gentleman.

Wow. I just found myself being mad at some future version of a nephew who isn't even born yet being mean to the future version of my niece who isn't even two months old. And I assumed that that they would end up being married.
And I assume that he/she will be a boy.
And I hope I will not have to re-write this blog.

I fear for the mental stability of any child I have.
But they really don't have any business being married to anyone but each other.
There I go again.
Fuck it. My word is law.

Please picture, if you will, that i am listening to the 'Moulin Rouge' Soundtrack while writing this.
very loudly. Ergo, my 'word' is not only 'law', but the most pretty of 'law'. wearing the most beautiful frock that ever was bartered from a ren-fest wench. I'm talking sequins out the wazoo, and strappy things that make your prom dress look like a burlap sack.

I think that I am going to cut this short so I can finish a letter that I need to send out to post tomorrow at the very latest.
If you take anything out of this, please let it be that I hope for nothing but the best for both my niece Annie and my nephew 'Andrew Junior' And that I like to support fledgling comedy shows. even if they are stand up shows. Even if...
(I kid because I love)

So I hope for nothing more than for a million babies to be made merely minutes after reading this blog. And that they are all named after me. Remember that Andrew means 'Strong and Manly'
And if I have anything to do with it, 'Awesome' as well.

Just a moment for shameless plugging:
The Monday Night Comedy Show will soon be a platform for the 'President of Comedy' elections. Please mark your calendars for the next two months of Monday nights, as you will be a part of history.
Your vote affects the outcome.
And if you come to the show on November 3rd, you choose your leader. No matter who protests. It was my idea first.

I'll keep you posted, don't worry.

With that, I bid you a very tipsy adieu.

Stay Awesome, or the dice will roll a plus four. And that means the high priestess Elven Sorcerer will defeat your lowly human metallurgist. How embarrassing.

Andy.