Really? You waited to go to sleep for THIS?!

I am miles and miles away from being where I need to be, but tonight I am giving my team of scientists the night off from their work on the teleportation machine. they have been doing 12 hours shifts, 52 weeks out of the year. They are no closer to developing the needed technology now than they were in 1998 when I set them the task. However, they are hard workers and need to see their families.

There is no concept of weekends anymore! (Props to whoever gets that reference. Hint: Spalding Gray)

And so I lament the fact I am here. In my room at four in the AM. Eating re-heated spaghetti and wondering what I am doing with my life.
And I am also wondering what disc of Highlander: The Series I should watch. I know, I know. You think I should watch all of them. Even the ones with Ritchie. I tell you no. Not a chance. Even the most die hard fan worth his or her salt would skip over those and prefer to watch old episodes of 'Friends'. Sadly, I don't have any of those. just a complete series of a show about immortal swordsman.
It isn't a bad life, I lead, but it is a life without teleportation.
If I had my choice, I would be in the rainy and drizzle (snoop dogg!) infested Eastern Michigan area dreaming about future conquests and names for as yet born twins with jedi powers and the ability to throw knives at moving targets.

But this spaghetti is so delicious. Though I just burnt the roof of my mouth and am cursing science for not creating a safe way to enjoy it direct from the microwave without 'letting it sit' for two minutes.
And I am reveling in my use of the run on sentence. Go me.

Speaking of knife throwing, I picked up a couple of batarangs a few months ago and was going to add them to my ever growing collection of things that are made of metal and stick into slabs of wood. I say 'was' because I ended up just sitting them on a shelf and forgot about them until tonight when i was talking to Amanda and trying desperately hard to impress the fact that I have many qualities, and not just speaking in a fast paced mode not unlike The Gilmore Girls.
I failed in my eyes, but maybe I could win in the long run. More on that in another blog.
So I have two metal objects that are in the shape of a bat symbol. Very sharp on the two ends and most agreeable to the eye. If your eye was keen on the shape of a bat. And by 'bat' I mean The symbol on the chest of the Man himself. And by 'The Man himself' I mean, well, you know what I mean...
Which these are.
And I was trying to be cool with no one but my cat in the room, and I was twirling them around my fingers as best I could with these strange meathooks I call hands. I might have said: 'Well, Well, Riddler. It seems I have bested you once again.' (note that i also might have said it in a British accent, and I know Batman doesn't speak like that. Accent or no. I might have been invoking The Blue Raja from 'Mystery Men' But I was using Batarangs, so all is forgiven.

The short version is: I dropped one on my floor. And it stuck. Deep into the hardwood.
And though I was alone in my room, save for my cat, who is not a stranger to irony or my strange behavior, I looked at the batarang and said: "Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell"
I paused, smirking in the cleverness that only those who are very eccentric an/or alone can relish, And then I dropped the other Batarang on the floor (it stuck as well) and then I said (also out loud): "Don't fuck with the babysitter"
And I know that isn't how it all went down in the movie, but I am my own person, and am allowed some creative license. No matter how odd.
I also realized several things about myself:

1) I don't care if I lose the security deposit on the apartment. My landlord is a dick, and I can say that those Batarang marks were on the floor when I moved in.
2) Being able to say: 'Those Batarang marks were on the floor when I moved in' is priceless.
3) I need to stop trying to entertain my cat.
4) I own not one, but SEVERAL pairs of batarangs.
5) I like to party. Adventures in Babysitting style. You guys get that that was from Adventures in Babysitting, right? If not, you shouldn't be reading my blog.
6) I am not going to get my security deposit back.


So I bid you goodnight, or good morning as the case may be. Remember that tomorrow is another day you might just get that revenge on the system that pissed you off.
And also, I own motherfucking BATARANGS, and I will let you see them if you ask.

Sometimes being Andy Brynildson is funner than say: Anything ever in all the world. And all the other times it's just like being you, only with great hair* and Batarangs.

Stay Awesome, because you know I will.

Andy


Ps- I visited my Mom today, and she saw my new tattoo. Amy, my sister, thought it was cool and took a picture of it with her phone. My Mom rolled her eyes and said that at least I didn't have my ears pierced. (note that I have had my left ear pierced since 1997 when i went with Mark Adams to Calires boutique and had it done in some sort of male bonding ritual. A fact that my Mom has known and has wondered if I am gay ever since.

PPS- I am not gay, but I do own Batarangs and speak in British accents in the audience of my cat.

PPSx2- Why do you read this blog anyway?

*It is the only thing I have going for me. Please understand that.