End of another year.

In which, the Boy and his Bear have an end of the year review.

Lots of stuff happened this year, you know.
I know.
There was that one time you were in Indiana for a time.
Yes. Better part of six months, that.
I missed you then. Wondered why you went.
I thought long and hard about it myself. I don't regret it, if that's where you're going.
No, it's just that you are getting on in years and you really need to settle down and find a family.
You mean a wife and kids?
And a dog. Dogs are a fine addition. I once had a stuffed dog. Not the same, I know, but if you believe they are real...
The magic of the nursery?
What the hell are you talking about?
Um. Velveteen Rabbit?
Don't mix any more fiction into this if possible; I know how you like to rant.
I am long winded. That much is true.
Word. Anyhow, you were saying?
What? About family? That was you. You want me to have a dog. I actually kind of had one in Indiana.
What kind was it?
A mix between a black lab and a German shepherd. It had one ear that flopped and one that stood up. Someone abandoned her.
No more metaphors!
I see where you are going. But some guy really did drop her out of a car, and then drove off.
That is terrible!
Yeah. If you have the idea that you want to add a puppy to all the madness around you, you have to have that same idea for a long time.
The dog is still there?
Yes. Being taken care of by good people. I was sad to say goodbye.
To the dog?
To it all.
But you feel better about it now?
No. I don’t think I do.
Sorry to bring it up.
No problem.
What about your show? You still do that, right?
Well yes. It is my favorite night of the week.
Good. Let’s move on to other things. You tend to talk about the MNCS too much.
Very true.
Do you still believe in things?
I think I do. I'm not sure if 2009 was really my year. I did find out a lot about myself, though.
I didn't ask that. I asked about things.
Like what?
Like how little kids are fun when they seem really excited to see you, or sitting outside when you drink coffee at night is the best time.
Well sure, I believe in that stuff. But I thought you were talking about faith in me, I am not so confident these days.
What happened to you?
I was told that I am in a valley.
Your metaphors are weak at best.
Not mine! I was told this by someone I trust, and I think it's true. She was talking about valleys and peaks. It worked for me.
As an explanation as to why?
Not really, but it did a good job of describing my current state. There is so much I want to do still.
Then do it. Do all of those things. Then you might start to believe. Want to smoke some crack with me?
What?
Nothing.
Ah. One of those tests to see if they were paying attention? I can dig it.
I think you should start doing more. The Monday show is great, but you need something else. There is no reason a weekly two hour show should eat up most of your time.
It doesn’t. I have spare time when I am not working.
So what do you do with that time?
I think about doing stuff.
But without actually doing them?
Correct.
Please allow me to beat you over the head with this cinder block I can ‘bearly’ lift. Did you see what I did there?
Clever. Maybe that should be the theme of 2010?
Cinder block violence? Being clever?
Doing, not thinking. Actions speak louder than words… Well, you know what I mean.
If you spend all your time just thinking about the things you should be doing, and not actually accomplishing anything, you are quite lazy.
I am lazy. I should stop that.
Yes. And you should buck up and stop being so mopey. I like you when you are cheerful.
It has been a long time since I was cheerful the way you remember me being.
You had so much potential. You had quite a lot going for you in your 20’s. What happened?
Nothing of any importance when we should be discussing 2009.
I agree. Aside from Indiana, did you travel?
I went to Florida for a bit. And Michigan. Twice.
Meet any new people that you think will be friends for a lifetime?
A couple.
Lose any people?
A couple too many. One person I had only met once, but her loss affected so many of my friends. There are a lot of people hurting out there.
Yes. It’s a shame
I haven’t really any room for complaints. There are billions of people in the world who have it worse off, or have suffered a great deal more than I have this year.
It’s good to put perspective on things. Are you happier now than you were last year at this time?
No. I was perfect last year at this time. Probably the happiest I have been. But in the end, I screwed it up.
Odds are you will be better next year. Maybe even fall in love again.
I’d better start working on it.
But don’t try too hard. You know how you get. Is this the dawn of a new and better Andy?
Let’s not jinx it. How about we say it’s a start of a different Andy.
Ask for more help this time around, ok?
I will.
And let go of the bulk of your hurt. I know you keep that stuff around for too long.
Heh, I’m still working on 2006’s hurt.
You know what you have to do. I believe in you.
I’m starting to believe in you too.
At least there’s that. Have fun tonight, Boy.
You too, Bear.


And then they walked off into the wood looking for different adventures than the ones they had in the last year. What happens next remains to be seen.


I hope you have a great New Years Eve.

See you guys next year!
Until then, Stay Awesome.

Love,
Andy

Forgot to tell you something.

On a more positive note, I will be making more opportunities to shine.

I say it a lot, but this time I mean it: I aim to misbehave.

A

To late to say I'm sorry. What does it matter? Why should I care...

It was supposed to be different this year.


In a good way.


I am sick of saying 2007, 2008, 2009 will be MY year.

2010 is going to be A year.

All this remains to be seen. I just dont feel I was given the opportunities I needed to shine.
Every fucking year, huh kids?

Enough now.
A

Tweaking out on what ended up being 4 very strong cups of coffee.

I haven't been writing about my trip. I'm sure you have noticed and have been more than a little concerned.
I am wresting this feeling of sadness about certain parts of my life. One of them being the fact that there are some people who read this, and think it accurately reflects the goings on in my life.
The things I write here are not absolute. This is a moment. And everything is comprised of many of those.

I know what you are thinking, 'Andy, are you getting introspective while sitting at the downtown Indianapolis Dunkin Donuts?'

As a matter of fact...

But this is not the platform for I wish, I wanted or I should have's. Those should be left for late night conversations at a perkins or an embers that doesn't exist anymore due to economic progress.

I saw my friends last night. Not all of them, but enough to keep me safe in the fact that I am loved. I get that in the Twin Cities as well, but Indy has a sort of magnetic pull towards the wistful for me. Is that a thing? I am going to make it one if it isn't.
Pants breaks my heart with cuteness. I didn't get to see Adam, and i know I will be freaked out by how big he is when i see him next. They grow so fast is so accurate. Cliche, but accurate.

I saw a post secret today that said 'I want to get my next Christmas tree with you' It made me very sad. Might be one of those holidays, you know?

And yes, I noticed that this post isn't going anywhere as well. And yet you keep reading in the hopes that I will start talking about my trip... Read on.

My father moved to Michigan the other day. It has been a clusterfuck of emotion. Trying to deal with a parent who is having a latter day crisis is just like i said: It's trying.
I don't recall if I wrote about what went down that gets us to me heading back to Minneapolis.
Here is the short version in regards to today:

Male parent left for California for a gold rush 151 years too late.
Same parent purchased a home on the shores of lake Huron. one of the lesser of the great lakes, but no slouch when it comes to bodies of water.
I was called into service because of my heavy lifting skills and ability to pack boxes and knick knacks like it's a giant game of tetris.
I arrive in Indianapolis.
We pack.
We drive a Uhaul truck to the Thumb of Michigan's lower Peninsula.
We unload the goods in a garage attached to the home that sits on the lake that the parent bought. he bought the house, not the lake. I thought I made that clear. You are not paying attention.
We stay in a motel that night because the house has not officially been purchased. He closes the deal and signs papers on Tuesday.
The motel is from 1959, and the heat does not work properly.
We drive back to Indy.
I start to feel like I won't see my father again for a very long time.
I get a ride to irvington, where I spend the night in the house I had spent 5 months of self exploration, discovery, heartache and growth. It has only been a months since I had slept there. Almost to the day.
I internalize all sighs and the need to scream 'I miss you and need you all in my life more than I ever let on'
Pants tells me where her nose, ears, chin and hair are and grabs my necklace one last time. She probably won't do that the next time I see her. They grow so fast. She gives me a kiss goodnight, and I know it is because she misses me. I miss her too. Her parents don't suck, either.

James gives me a lift downtown before he goes to his Naval reserve day. I am at a Dunkin Donuts, and I am about to go to Chicago.

Seriously, though. Your Mom is Chicago (is not) Chicago.
That soul Coughing song is running through my head almost constantly for the last two hours.
I am on my 3rd cup of coconut coffee, and I think about who I wish were here drinking it with me. I fear I may be starting to move on.

There's much more I want to talk about, but I don't want to bore you.

Monday Night Comedy Show is tomorrow at 8pm. Audience numbers are down. Foolish to think we could sustain opening night numbers. Going to need to start a guerrilla marketing campaign. That, or change it to a bible study show.

One more cup of coffee, then I leave.

Happy Sunday, alright?

Stay Awesome, or the Titans will beat the Colts and other football references that sound awkward coming from me.
Andy

When in Illinois, one must blog about it. and I saved a kid.

Chicago.
A love/hate relationship if there ever was. I love to hate this town.
I keep hoping someone will show me a good time in this burg, and I came really close when I was at nick Vogt's wedding a few years ago. Lisa and Jenny were there, so life was about as perfect as Chicago allows. I remember riding the train feeling like ass because I was sad that two of my closest were on the road going the opposite direction from me.
The nearest I had felt that way was when I was on the train coming back to Minneapolis earlier in November.
And that's another thing: It is now December 1st. Your Mom is December 1st. I am NOT impressed so far, and we are nine and a half hours in.
I am sitting in the Union Station Caribou Coffee. The nice lady behind the counter told me how much she liked my scarf, and i told her without hesitation that my friend Lisa made it for me in about 20 minutes. I think the Minnesota has infected me again when in other cities. This lady doesn't know Lisa. Nor will she ever know Lisa. Unless I am completely engulfed by the Scandinavian madness and invite her down to Indy for a weekend getaway. This lady was rather attractive. And she smiled when I was being silly. Fine. I will add the bagel and shmeer for a dollar. I am such a sucker.

I remember LeighLeigh telling people she could sell a ketchup Popsicle to an Eskimo wearing white gloves on a hot summer day. I don't need that kind of salesperson. I just need some cute girl who reaches about six feet and smells like coffee. Oh, and she wore those Lisa Loeb glasses. yeah...
So see you later, folks. I am living in the Caribou Coffee just off the canal until my sanity returns.

And we're back.

So my breakfast with an old friend didn't work out today. She was on her way, then called into a meeting in a suburb. Maybe Sunday. It's only been two years...Whats another six days?

So what else can I tell you? Don't take megabus? Ok. Don't do that. yeah it's cheap, but you get what you pay for.
It would be a horse of a different color if they would make the driver tell the people to form a fucking line. Just start a cue. that's all. it's like a Kohls on Black Monday every time they start loading. And let me tell you, I really hate line cutters.
They are like locust people. Locust people from space who eat babies.
Oh, speaking of babies, some little kid totally fell out of his seat in the middle of the night. Right in front of me.
And I saved him.
I always sit on teh lower level of the double decker bus because I don't like people who ride the bus (read:I don't like myself) Anyhow, this little guy was sitting with his mom, and she was asleep. He woke up and started exploring. he was a little less than two. I can never tell. AnniePants looks like she's 17 already. they grow so fast...
They are sitting on the opposite side of the aisle and those seat are a bit more elevated. Kid is sitting on the outside seat (bad parenting) and sits up and leans over the armrest.
And keeps leaning. like a Lemur.
Just over the edge. I'm seeing this in slow motion, and the older lady next to me shifts suddenly because she sees him too.
Activate robot ninja reflexes.
the kid is going headfirst onto the aisle of the megabus, but I fucking catch him! Can you dig that hot shit?!
I was really proud of myself, and I could tell that the old lady was too, but she just let out a whispered 'Whew'
The Mom woke up and grabbed her son and strapped him into the seat. She did give me this look like I was really trying to steal him and take his youth. Whatever. I am an unsung hero today. The little guy would have really hurt himself. Your welcome, sleepy inattentive mom. If I was falling over the edge of a ravine (metaphor for Bus aisle) you can bet that my Mom would be there to catch me. AND she would have a hallmark card. And it would have a dollar for every year I have been alive inside. just saying, my mom is ever vigilant. also, your cell phone makes too much noise when you text. Turn that shit off. MY mom doesn't even know what texting is.
I digress.
Another bit that was strange was that he made NO SOUND WHATSOEVER. His creepy silence leads me to believe he is the next incarnation of the Buddha, and is wise beyond his years. But The Buddha would not topple over an armrest for no reason whatsoever but to teach me a lesson in humility or respect for life or something deep. Maybe he just wanted the mean old lady sitting next to me to talk to me. Seriously. I said hello. I even offered her some beef jerky. Whatever. I am a kid saver and I earned a place in nirvana. Not the band. The Ethereal plane where badass heroes go when they are killed on a megabus headed to chicago.

So yeah. I thought that that would be a great opener for a trip to Indianapolis.
I feel accomplished. Maybe December will be a good karma month.

Ok. I have to down this wretched coffee and catch my connector to Indy.
Catch you on the flip.

Stay Awesome or I won't say 'Bless you' when you sneeze.
Andy

#1 Crush

I like it when i am riding the bus and we pass another bus going the opposite direction. The drivers always wave to each other as if to say 'I know. We're driving a ticking timebomb filled with people, and no one knows we have so much power. Also, today sucks. Stick with it'

It makes me smile every time.

I was overserved last night and didn't make it home until 5:30am

I can only blame myself. i believe moderation is the name of the game for a good long while.

As per usual, I am worried about show attendance. Numbers are dropping off, and I know it has just been two weeks and I am super critical of everything ever in the world, but I canna' help it.
I will be trying a new bit next week(not tomorrow)
If it works, it will become a weekly thing.
if it fails, then i can still say i tried, and that is the spirit of the show.
I worry(what else is new?) that it is too similar to the King Lear incident of 2008.
However, this will only be about 5 minutes out of everyone's day, and I am always the first in line to acknowledge a miserable idea. Stay tuned for an update.

So i am sitting here at the coffeehouse writing this. On the stereo is the Romeo & Juliet soundtrack. Yeah. the Baz Luhrman (spelling?) one.
I think it so great when music can transport you to a certain time and place. This music in particular takes me to the driver's seat of my 1986 Toyota Tercell wagon. I loved that car. It was my first ride. It looked like a shuttlecraft from star trek. With ample room for doing naughty teenage things when you put the back seat down.
I'm driving in my car and it's winter in indiana. Which you can't really tell apart form any other part of year because there is never much snow, but this year there was. The Winter of 1997. I was working at Old Navy. I just got the cd after watching the moview ith a friend of mine, but sadly, i cannot tell you who I saw it with. Aaron maybe? I know I saw Austin Powers with him. same thing if you think about it...
it was probably LeighLeigh. She was always into Shakespeare like I was.
I was still 18 that winter. Whole world ahead and nowhere to go but up.
I still hate Old Navy, but their clothes are comfy. I will give them that.
I wonder if I was still with Kate? Not sure. I do know our relationship ended the night we saw Jerry McGuire. Where this is going, i have no idea. there are times where I am lost thinking about random moments. right now is one of them.
Going to The Abbey for tea that always went cold before you could finish the pot.
Sitting at the gazebo, smoking and talking about this and that with her or him or they.
I liked being 18, I think. Just turning 19 when the Summer would be in full swing.
There was a night where Leigh and Aaron and I were just being together. It could have been one of the last times. the last of the perfect parts of my youth in Carmel. I remember the pain of missing Aaron when he went off to school. And Leigh, while she was always around, we ended up not talking for a while because of some moronic argument that didn't matter. And of course, we would have more as the years went on. Hell, one lasted 7 years.
The sparkly things that distract me are many, dear reader. I was talking about something...
Oh yeah.
I had this Toyota Tercel wagon once.
Shiny Shiny Shiny.

I think that if I had nights to get back and re-live, it would be the ones I haven't spent yet with my friends.

Tomorrow is the show. the weekly show. No time for love, Dr. jones.

Stay Awesome until the pie cools.

Andy

ps: The MNCS is now on that twitter thing because Aaron made me. I swore I would never do it, but he insists on making this show some sort of success or something.
Follow us @ MNCShow

and please look at our swanky website that he has been working hard on. Still not done because i am a failure at deadlines and things needing completion. Soon, though. Soon.

Andybear's natural habitat: A Studebaker.

I had something to say. But…
Good Gods. I mean seriously, for the love of Odin and all thos cats who sit on thrones in Asgaard.
I just deleted a big chunk of very emo material. It had things to do with Black Friday and how I don't have anyone to shop for.
And while I do have a need for a new coffeemaker since sometime over the Summer, my darling eldest sister decided it would be a good idea to steal a few consumer grade appliances, I will not be going to walmart to buy one for $3. Nor will I be buying electronic hamster toys. WTF, people. WTF?
But back to the melancholy tone of what will never be read... I gotta get over myself. This will not stand.
I have been trying to be more social lately. Not in a 'cruising for ass' way, but more of a networking way. Or more true to point: a 'Get out and stop being awkward around people, you stupid ass, you used to be rather outgoing' kind-of-way.
I go to Comedy shows, I laugh at the things my talented friends say into microphones, and I end up just sitting there being quiet. It is very frustrating. I feel like I did lose that certain something that is obvious when i look in a mirror.
Sitting there being quiet/ At a bar? At comedy shows, no less?
I am ashamed, and my inner self is screaming to come out and take out a baseball bat to my head and take over my body again.
But talk is cheap, and actions require planning and strategems and hemming and hawing and this and that and my head is about to fucking elplode all over my tiny computer that looks like it has candy in it.

Argh.

Argh, I say to you.

I will try to be more outgoing in the next few days. I will then update you on my progress. in the most shameful and self depricating way that only I know how to do...

What else? Oh yes. stuff. loads of it.

When last we met, i was about to go co-announce a NorthStar RollerGirl bout with my buddy Aaron Connor, aka- Grizzly Madden.
The bout was a sanctioned thing in the skateland or ville on Burnsville (not Burnland. Though it would be funny to me)
The Nothstar ladies were taking on the Hammer City Rollergirls from Somewhere in Canada.
The Canadians had just done a bout against the MN Rollergirls the night before, which i went and saw with John, my hetero lifemate.
I fet sorry for them having to do 2 bouts in less than a day. The bout in Burnsville was at 10am.
we got there very early and I was introduced to some people, but once again, my social awfulness shined through and i was much more quiet. I think Aaron picked up on it too, since around him i am Captain VeryFunnyMan. He kept asking me if I was ok.
The bout was fun, per usual. you have to love seeing athletic women knock each other around.
There wasn't much of an audience, though. In fact, the only ones watching were other skaters and/or significant others. Grizz and i were not needed at all, but I have a sneaking suspicion that since it was a sanctioned bout and counted towards ranking, they wanted announcers there to make the Hammer City girls feel like it was just like any other bout...Without a huge cheering crowd.
And then, of course, my mic didn't work. I had to share with Aaron. And that made out witty banter off. We did click a few times, but since I don't really know how to call derby, he just asked what I thought about stuff and I generally answered 'I think rollergirls are very attractive' or 'Wow. They all have skates on.' or my favorite: 'I wonder if # so and so is married or in a long term relationship. Once again, my number is 612- 961....'
Still, it was great fun to hang out with Aaron. We used to work at Bobby bead together. And the last time we really saw each other is when i flashed my junk onstage at the BNW during a show.
Ahhh. memories...

One moment please as I get picked up for an adventure with my dear friend Haugie. We are traveling to darkest Shakopee to test our mettle against the machine that is the casino.
And through the power of time travel, I am back.
To you it has been but a whisper of a moment. To me, it has been a few hours of hitting rock bottom. At least I had company.
I should learn, I know. The house always wins. But there are those little moments of victory where your .05 cent bet turns into .20 cents and your eyes start to spin and you get kind of turned on by the prospect of being able to buy your next girlfriend a house on your first date.
But the house always wins.
The house won about $30 from me tonight.
The house can suck a dick. Good thing they don’t rely on me coming once every six months to drop coin.

So I am back from the casino to lick my wounds and add some hilarious comedic fodder to my ever growing stand up set. Sadly, the set is revised and rewritten so much that it will be three years before I get up on stage. But there is always MNCS. She will always stand by me and encourage me to try harder.
If only I ever would listen…
So the website is looking pretty good. I have been assigned many a task to send out to Aaron G in New York to make it better and funnier.
Instead of doing that, I go to the casino and learn valuable lessons in personal finance.
Perhaps tomorrow I will get the ass in gear that needs to be in gear to make everyone on the interweb happy.
I have been updating our twitter account as often as I remember. You can follow the adventures of the show at
MNCShow

Aaron set it up for us, even though I promised I would never use twitter. I am very good at lying, people. Lying and breaking promises. Very important promises like using or not using Twitter.
To forgive is divine. Remember. And it’s not like we are dating. Not anymore. We just totally broke up.

On Monday we will be celebrating our 103rd show. Or Season 3 Episode 3. After the show, which will start promptly at 8pm whether people are there or not, I leave for Indianapolis. I will arrive in Chicago at 6:30 in the after meridian. Stay in the city that breaks my soul for a few hours and go to Indy at 11.
When I arrive in Indy, I will start helping my father pack up his worldly possessions into a moving truck and we will drive to his new home in Eastern Michigan. Overlooking beautiful (albeit polluted) Lake Huron.
My only request to him was that I didn’t miss one of my shows.
So to all you people of the Indianapolis persuasion: I’m coming back.
And to all of you who think it’s too soon: I agree with you.
But my Dad needs help, and I am always looking to gain his favor.

I have some play ideas that I am toying with like a ball of yarn. One is about junk mail, and the other is still that Morning radio show thing I have been talking about for months. Fringe signup is coming fast. I have to have a solid idea before I apply.

Ok. I’m done. I will be on facebook as soon as this is posted to see who has poked me, and who I am deleting from my friends list because they did not poke me.

Incidentally, I am writing this in my ‘new’ office. The place where each one of my computers lives. It is very posh, and my rolly chair rolls to each station like a dream. I am spinning right now. Can you tell? I love my rolly chair. It’s the little things. At least I am not typing this on a pile of clean clothes that need to be folded anymore. As said outloud today to no one in particular: ‘Progress. Today is all about progress’

Stay Awesome and find your inner me.

Andy

Breaking news

This just in:

My friend Aaron Connor AKA:Grizzly Madden is one of the announcers for the NorthStar Roller Girls. He called me up today to ask if I wanted to help him announce a bout this Sunday morning.

Um. yeah.

Sadly, it is a private bout for some reason, so it isn't open to the public. I wish i could invite everyone i know. That's the only bummer part, though.
Well, and I have to be awake and mostly human at 7AM on a Sunday.

But color me excited!

In other news, I went to Rick Bronson's house of Comedy last night to watch the show that Brody makes happen. There was one guy there that could have been super funny if he hadn't talked shit about how few people were in the audience. The room sits over 200, and there were at least 50+ people there. Not including performers and staff. It was a really fun room, and I saw some of my friends perform. Bill young & Bryan Miller had great sets. Gabe Noah isn't so much a friend as he is an acquaintance. But he is one very funny guy. I'm going to go again next week.
I suggest you do the same.

it has been brought to attention that I am hitting the Comedy Circuit pretty hard since I have been back.
I just want to support the once who always say yes to performing at MNCS. Without them, it would be a pretty dull show.
But secretly, I like how inspiring these people are to me. they make me interested in writing funny stuff. Maybe one day I will perform too. Maybe...
The announcement for my first ever stand up set will be done here, so for all four of you who read this, I expect you in the audience.

Now I am headed over to The Zissou's house. (Knutson) We will sit in front of laptops and not speak to each other until the time comes when we go to Grumpy's for the Death Comedy Jam show.
10pm. And it's free. So if you like stand up, or want to hang out with me because I am elusive and hard to find: there you go.

still waiting to hear back from my Dad about a roadtrip to Indy after Turkey Day.
If that happens, I will hope to see some familiar faces in a karaoke bar.
More on that as it develops

Stay Awesome.

Andy

Less mean. But still stern.

I just wrote a very scathing review on my Monday Night Comedy show.

I deleted it.

I want it out there that I liked the Stand up, the spoken word and the Sketch.


The audience was great. As usual. It was pointed out to me by a good friend and a comic that I respect a great deal: "If you bomb at the MNCS, you just suck. The audience isn't there to be assholes. They are there to laugh. They are the most supportive group in the city."

Paraphrased a little, but right on the money.

I LOVE our audience. And I promise to never expose them to shit if I can help it.

I hope that other shows start thinking about the people that come to see them more. It's why people call our show 'The Little show that could'
I am so fucking proud of that.
I am proud of our staff, our audience, and the performers that get it. That is why we keep going. And why we will be there. because one day, the 'at large' will notice why we are as good as we are.

So. Damn. Proud.

My people are the best people.


Ok. stay awesome. I am glad I didnt post that angrier one.
Available on request, though... ;)

Stay Awesome.
Andy

Monday Nights are made for lovers

It is now Monday.
Monday the 16th of November.
That means it is the start of our 3rd season at The MNCS.
Doors will open at 7:30pm and the show starts at 8:00pm

Tickets are now $4
But tonight we will ask if you have one of our nice new flyers. The ones that give you a dollar off admission.

When you say 'No, i don't have one' We will say this:
'Well you must have left it at home or something. Here, take this one and use it the next time you come.'
Then the people will get in for $3 tonight. Because we are crazy marketing monkeys.

Speaking of, the website is now live!

www.mondaynightcomedyshow.com

Aaron Gwirtz is responsible for making it go. And once I send him more info, he will add more content.
But I am VERY excited for this step up. And my thanks to Both Aaron for the website and Jen Zalar for the flyers knows no limits.

The facebook event page says there will be 61 people attending, but take away from that the ones who just say they are coming to 'support' and add the ones who don't use facebook or the ones who never look at their event invites AND THEN add all the maybe's who might be Attending... Big Fuckoff show. With lots of people.
My only concern is having enough seats.

Oh, and being funny. My confidence if off lately.
I've been joking that I lost my mojo in the war. I am partly serious.

I forgot to mention that we are on the City Pages A-list for tomorrow, too. That might garner more interest.
I think I might be nervous... That hasn't happened in a while. Awesome.

Anyway. Loads of stuff yet to do. I did an improv set with Jason kruger last night at Anodyne as part of a fundraiser. We ended up just doing Hamlet in different styles. My favourite one was doing it in the style of a Childrens Show. Nothing funnier than talking about treachery and murder while being cheerful and teaching how to spell
M-E-L-A-N-C-H-O-L-Y

At any rate, I have been hungover most of the day.
But due to my power nap when I got home, I will not be sleeping for several more hours.

Hey. I miss you.
Stay Awesome,
Andy

Now for something a bit more positive. albeit veiled in whistfulness.

It's been a week.

I gave myself a present of one week to just mess around and not do too much. Sort of re-acclimate myself to the steady constant drumming of Minne, meaning Water & Polis, meaning city.

Water city. Water world. Where dry land is a myth. (for Linds)
I'm not going to lie: It was quite a change. Minneapolis is my home. It's where my Mom and Sisters live. Where I have two wonderful nieces and a wonderful nephew. It's where the heart is, and where my hat is hung. So why is it that I still have this nagging bit in the back of my mind that I don't have a home? I am not sad to be back. not by any stretch. The 'welcome homes' that I have received have been many and heartfelt. I have even more people that I still haven't seen yet, and i look forward to the hugs they will offer. I missed so many people. But I have a list of folks that I just wish were here too.
I want to watch my AnniePants grow up. I want to learn to play Warcraft under the strict guidance of James. I need that quiet glass of wine and talking about everything on the porch under the orange glow of lights with Lisa. I want to hear about how Lindsay's Mom totally LOVES me from Lindsay. I wish that Fingers was here to tell me about some gutbusting burger he had on the way to work. I want to talk Doctor Who theories with Andrew. I miss my Glee Wednesday nights over at Jenny's house. I want to watch Adam start to walk. And Amanda. There is so much more I want to share with her.
There are plenty more people who affect me there, but those are my dorch gang. My people. It wasn't the best Summer of my german hemmingway, but it wasn't the worst. There were ups and downs and things I am wont to forget. But there are those other moments that defined the word 'amazing', and made the word 'Perfect' is too dull to use to describe.
I swam in the ocean this Summer. I sat on the front porch of the house I knew when I was fresh from the hospital. I saw two friends work hard to egt into nursing school. I was involved in a fantastic musical about Edgar Allen Poe's greatest hits. I tried cutting my own hair to the dismay of everyone. I danced like it was the first time. And I cried like it was the end of the world when it was all over. I saw some shit this summer. But I also lived a little bit.

I'm not a perfect man. I am far from it. I do know my limitations, and I accept my shortcomings. It is this that makes me still have hope for the future. And i have it in spades. I know that nothings gonna break my stride, and if I died tomorrow, I would be so pissed off that I would have to wait to see the people I love for so long.
But wherever i was going with that will have to be continued another time. I have tomorrow to deal with. And then the next day. And so on and so on.

I am here in Minneapolis. As luck would have it, I brought with me from Indiana balmy weather. it has been so nice here this past week. And while I steal some neighbors interweb signal in my comfy chair at the back of my garage, I am not freezing my ass off while I type this.

I wasn't in minneapolis long before I was whisked away to Winona, MN to celebrate Mandy's 21st Birthday. My sister Amy drove us down, and it was nice because the last road trip we had together was in 1987 when she drove me back home to Minneapolis from a Month long stay in Indy as was some mysterious custody decree that I am still a bit fuzzy on.
Amy is a wonderful sister, and we never fall short of things to talk about. We tried to keep the visit a surprise for Mandy, who asked that we come the following day to visit.
The look on her face was priceless, and let me tell you: nothing makes you feel old like drinking with 21 year olds in a college town in a college bar.

What else have I done?
Yard work for my Mom. She insists on raking leaves before all the leaves have fallen.
I love her anyway.
I went to see some local Comedy shows. I am trying to do that more. Not as a networking thing, but as a 'you come to mine, I'll come to yours' thing. The show is very improtant to me, and i know that comes through with how I host, but I think it's important to show the talent that says yes to performing that I really do appreciate them. without them, it would just be me up there saying stupid unrehearsed things as audience members quickly file out and set the building on fire.
So I went to The Corner Bar to see the Comedy Underground open Mic.
Then I went to ACME for their open mic.
And tonight I went to Grumpy's for the Death Comedy Jam.
I might be going to Rochester tomorrow to see a show there. It all depends if the Zissou ends up going. I hope he does. I hear that Amber Preston might be there... ;)
hahaahhahahahahha.
Meanwhile...
On Sunday I spent the whole day dressed up as a vampire and hanging out with my best friend John. Probably the best way to spend a Sunday. I have pictures to post on facebook. I looked ridiculous.
And very bloody. And very, VERY sticky.

My friend Aaron Gwirtz offered to host the MNCS website on his site. he is also doing a million dollars worth of work with it. The site should be up and running by Monday at the very latest. I am so grateful to everyone who helps me with the show. Their infectious enthusiasm toward something that I hold so dear is again one of those 'If I die Tomorrow, it will all be worth it' kind of things. What with Jen and the flyer/logo design or Katy and all the photos she takes, or linds; Roni; Zissou and WonderDave. I sometimes feel like a magnet for rockstars. there ought to be a law... (anyone? true Stories? Lisa feels me...)
So yeah. website for the show of shows, and speaking of, we have a neat little season 3 opener this Monday night at 8pm That's the 16th of November, and it seems like only yesterday that I was getting th go ahead from Joel to start booking acts.
Today in the City Pages (Nuvo equivelant for Indy folks) we are listed in the A-List.
Th write up by my friend and great comic Bryan Miller is fantastic. You can see a link to it on my facebook page.
I know I gloat and rant and rave and pull my hair out over this show. I know you might be sick of hearing me talk about it. But I really think it's something special. And one of the only nights of the week where you get to see a tiny glimpse of who I was at a much younger age. The guy who hosts the show is very similar to that guy who somehow made friends with Jenny and Lisa all those years ago. That means nothing to you, but the world to me. And once again, it's my party and I'll bla bla bla if I want to.
So if you get the chance to see show number 101, I hope you come early to get a good seat.

If you are reading this, know that I miss you, so you should probably write me or call me. I'll try to do the same.

Stay Awesome till the sun explodes.

Andy

And part two goes something like this

Nothing could ever prepare me.
Not one thing in my life.
I have hurt before, and I will hurt again, but this is a new one for me and I was just floored.
Amanda dropped me off this morning.
we got to Union Station, or whatever they call the big train place in downtown Indy these days.
I was worried that I wouldn't get to see her before I left. She slept through three of her alarms.
Ironically, the train that passes by Irvington each morning was the thing that woke her up.
That is Ironic, right? It isn't Alanis Morrissette Ironic I hope.
Anyway, she came through.
It was a bittersweet ride there. Not much for way of talking on either of our parts. What was there to say?
She started crying first.
I'm proud that I held my stuff together and actually had a brave face on. For a few moments, at least.
What I wanted to happen was for her to drive away. I didn't want her to see me walking away. Leaving.
People have issues with leaving.
Being left.
I'm not just leaving her, I'm leaving everyone here. I hate that.
I might not be around, but I am always available in some medium. I have to work on proving that.
I still don't know what I'm doing when it comes to anything ever, but today I think i made the hardest step.
I was tearing up at the ticket counter when i exchanged my tickets for the 10,000th time.
I was tearing up when i texted her a final 'I love you' text. My last, I promise.
I was calming down for a bit and just staring off into space, kneading my bottom lip, which is what I do when I am about to explode. Not many people know that about me.
then the train moved.
At 6:01am, Indianapolis time.

I thought I might die.
Everything came to me at once. I know people think like I enjoy drama and being sad or broody. So not true.
I don't like it. If you like it, you are fucked up.
I don't think I am fucked up, just slightly broken.

I found myself thinking over and over again that I can NEVER be in this position again.
I can't feel like I did the moment the huge train lurched towards Chicago.

Maybe I am fucked up.

So I am in Chicago. I have called Lisa and Amanda called me just a few moments ago. it is about to be lunch time here, so the food court is crowded and some guy is sitting next to me who is wearing a pink shirt and has fiery fake red hair. I like to think his last name is Weasley and he is thinking about an upcoming Quidditch match. But in reality he is eating some LeeAnn Chin knock off. And it looks good.

The Mascot, Tyler will be visiting me for a few before my train leaves. I'm going to try and get some pics to show the MNCS that he is alive and well in the Windy City.

This coffee is terrible. Avoid Corner Bakery Cafe. They eat babies like Congo. (That was for Leigh)

Stay Awesome. I will write more when Minneapolis happens. Or maybe when i freak out and realize there is nothing in Chicago that I want to do because I am stuck in Union Station... Maybe I will reenact some Untouchable scenes. THATS The Chicago way...

Andy

Thoughts on this and that Part One.

I am sitting alone in the house that has served as my home for the last five months.
Lisa and Pants are upstairs. Pants is sleeping, and I am sure Lisa is trying to.
I was packing things up and trying to be really quiet, but i dropped a cassette tape on the floor and it shattered. Well, the case shattered. The NKOTB tape is just fine, thank the gods.
I feel bad. It was really loud.

So like I said, two out of a handful of my favourite people on the planet are no more than 20 feet away from me, and I already feel like it might as well be a million.
Today I had to say goodbye to Fingers, Jenny, Adam and Judy.
The last few days have been a series of 'lasts' Only noticed because I am overly aware of melodramatic things due to my unstable nature of hypersensitivity. (And yes, i did try and say that three times fast.)
You notice things when changes are about.
I noticed the taste of the air just before I left Indy ten years ago. It was foggy then. And cold.
Tonight it is just cold. But the taste is the same. I've never been good with describing taste. It is a very personal thing, I think. That, or I am a terrible writer who cannot understand adjectives.
I've noticed more tonight about the house I have lived in for five months than in all the nights combined. I'm missing it to death, and I am still in the dining room.

I wonder if I am not allowed a permanent home because I am already plotting a way to get back here in January.
I'm going to miss Thanksgiving here. And I'll miss Christmas. New years will come and go without me setting foot in Indy.
I am sure I will have a fine time just the same, but you know me and my penchant for the wistful.
last year I was a different person. Well, maybe just a person with different circumstances.
I wonder if I will miss it more because I am sad about leaving, or if I am sad about all the things I know i will miss?
I want to watch pants open up presents.
I want to see Adam do the same.
I like it when they hold hands because they are exploring the idea of someone just as small being just as curious.
I will miss hearing the 'I'm Thankful for's' that come out of the big jar that lisa will be holding on the stairs.
I will not be able to make a stupid amount of my marshmallow fluff for my gang.
And for some reason, that's the thing that got me. Just now. my eyes welled up.
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Maybe it's best to not think about the things I am going to miss, but the things that I am taking away with me. This was to be The Summer of my German Hemmingway. Still a clever title, I feel, but sadly a failed one. In certain senses.
Don't read into that as me thinking all this shit is bullshit shit. Not even a bit.
I'm coming out stronger.
Maybe a bit more independent. (but for me, that word is another way of saying lonely. I like team efforts.)

I think it's time I talk about those things being taken away. weren't you ready for that like three pages ago?
Right. Sorry.

This Summer was a writing Summer. Yeah. Not so much.
It was a time where I met new people and made great friends. And I built better relationships with ones I had already. I found out what I wanted this Summer. I really did.
Now, telling you what I want out of Life, The Universe and Everything would spoil the surprise.
Not that it is a really big shocker. People who know me, know.
Anyway, that line of fate was sort of derailed. Ok. It was derailed like a freight train. But I still have hope that another opportunity will come any year now.
Hope is something I HAVE to keep. Silly word, Hope is, But it keeps me from thinking all is lost. And it prevents me from wearing black lipstick and guyliner.
I'm taking home the smiles of a sweet little girl who i watched grow up this Summer. That makes me want to get back to the cities and see how much Annika and Parker have sprouted up.
My Brother's kids are another story altogether. I wish they didn't live so far away.
I think i like traveling to see people, this is new.
It isn't that I like road trips. I did have a couple this Summer, and they were great, but I am still not a fan of the auto.


More later. I have to catch a train bound for nowhere.
By nowhere, I mean Chicago.

To be continued.

goes one way, then the other.

I did it. it's official.
I changed my ringtone. And it is so cool.
I hope for your sake you are next to me when I get a call.

Speaking of official things:

I am the proud owner of www.mondaynightcomedyshow.com

Since I am of the poor persuasion these days, I don't have the cash to actually make a site that works. maybe soon, though. I just need some corporate sponsors and a benefactor.
Sadly, that will have to wait since I lost all my charm and charisma in the war.

The Show looks like it is shaping up so far.
Bookings are full for the first two weeks back, and the 30th of November is almost done too.
WonderDave is going gangbusters with the booking of amazing spoken word and slam acts. He has people well into the first of the year.
Such a showoff.


On a more somber note, I have been taking stock of things lately. Trying to figure out what my problem is. Why i feel like I can do very little right, and how to get that spring in my step that used to be there.
Consider the last ten years of my life.
On second thought, think of ten years ago and then think of now. Or recently, as it were.
Ten years ago was 1999.
Now-ish is 2009.

Math lesson over.

Where was I then? I was moving to Indianapolis to be with someone I loved very much.
Where am I this year? Or more to the point: What was I doing a few months ago up until what seems recent, but isnt? I moved to Indianapolis to be with someone I loved very much.

There is a very scary parallel to these stories. They are both people I still love. They are people who will be in my life for a long time, I think. Well, I hope.
Am I stuck in an endless loop of my own creation, or is it just a messed up coincidence?
Was Lincoln secretary named Kennedy? Was Kennedy's secretary named Lincoln?
Am I a fool who chooses the wrong fights in my head for the sake of going mad in the least amount of time?
It all boils down to me not being confident in any choice i make, so I rarely make them anymore.
The choice i make concerning love might just be my last one. But then my last one was my last one and so on and so on until I make it back to 1999.
Now that song is in my head, and all I want to do is go to sleep and not have to think about anything.
But now I am worried about everything and frustrated that I cannot control any aspect of my life aside from who I choose to have silly infatuations with that will ultimately go nowhere. It all goes nowhere, right? I'm that crazy cat lady who gets to watch everyone he has ever loved be with someone else. Or at least I am going to be. 41 year old Andrew is headed to Indianapolis yet again to watch everything he wanted turn from platinum to earthtone in a span of six months or less.
None of this make sense to you. I'm going through a process in my head.

Tonight there is a screaming 21 and 31 year old hoping that the 41 year old isn't feeling as lonely.

A

Today is one of those days where there just isn't a blackout when you need one.

So I'm just going to create one for myself.


There is no such thing as a clean getaway.


More as the imbibing continues, I am sure.

Fuck today,

No clever title.

The public side of Andrew is getting to be more social.
But there is a private side that just wants to sit in a room with no lights on and think about things I cannot change.
Things are getting better, though. The impending move back to Minneapolis is daunting and there are many list items that need to be addressed.
I need to ship many items back via fedex. The reason being is that my Dad gave me a huge old typewriter that he used to use for his work at Neilson. The thing is huge and works like a dream. It was serviced to mint condition seemingly moments before he set it on a shelf and never used it again. It also came with enough extra ribbon to last until typewriters come back into style.
It weighs about 100 pounds and since I am prone to calling things I like very cool names, I have named this beast The Anvil of Crom. (the former name of my defunct moped project bike...sigh)
So that bad boy is coming with me on the train.
And I am shipping almost everything else.
Which needs to happen soon, as I leave in a little more than a week.
My Gods is that coming up fast.
I really wish things had worked out the way they were going to go in my head.
I also wish that my self esteem wasn't set at zero.
These are things I need to stop worrying about and begin to love the bomb...
I am not so deluded that I think that a simple move back to the Twin Cities will automatically make everything sunshine and rainbows. It will be as much an uphill battle there as it is here.
But I have my reasons for going back, and I have to start living for ME again. And not a dream life revolving around anyone else.
There will be single-ness that I will need to strictly adhere to.
Not to say that my trust in long term relationships is gone the way of my love of Crystal pepsi or OK Soda. I still believe in love and joy and puppies and Tabasco sauce and post it notes and bottle caps. those are things I associate with dating, by the way.
I think i am going to be more cautious from now on. And I will never put myself in a position to hurt or be hurt by persons again.
Interesting thing about my time in Indy: I feel much less passive aggressive now.
This will be a Hell of a thing to take back to Minneapolis, where Passive aggression is mixed with the fluoride they put in the drinking water.
Not to say I am going to punch people more and write mean comments on facebook walls.
I'm still the me that you fell in love with. But I am most certainly not same person you fell out of love with.
Consider an Andy without reservations. that would be an interesting Andy indeed.

A post with greater detail about Indy and my people here will be coming soon.

In the meantime, the in between time, I have laundry that hasn't learned to do itself.
And I am sure you have somewhere you ought to be.

Stay Awesome

Andy

One of those things in life.

Tonight I danced with a beautiful girl.
She is about two feet tall and likes crackers.
Sometimes when she thinks I am not looking, and music is playing, she swings her arms and bounces.
Her smile melts my heart.
Sometimes when I go upstairs or head outside for adventures of who knows what kind, she waves goodbye.
When I hold her, she grabs my necklace and tries to force it in my mouth. Most of the time, it is endearing.
When I am folding clothes, she helps by throwing them on the ground.
When she senses that I am sad, she will cleverly hand me some of her toys to make me feel better.
Tonight I danced with a beautiful girl.
And it was one of those moments where I felt sad that I'm going home because She is the only person I tell absolutely everything to.
She never judges or tells me that what I am feeling is wrong.
Not that others do all of the time, but this one, She's consistent.

And you have to admire consistent listening skills.

The stuff of dreams.

While I am fighting the sickness of a thousand dying suns, I wanted to tell you all about this dream I had the other day.
To preface, I was laying down for a nap after being on the front porch for hours taking a gander at www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com Truly a funny site. My favourite is the captions that go with the pictures that are primarily from the early 90's when fashion stopped and was replaced by acid washed evil.
Good stuff.
So I was laying down for a long Autumn nap before I had to help move a grill with my buddy Fingers.
My friends let me sleep longer than anticipated, and it was greatly appreciated since I got to have an adventure of a curious sort with some of my childhood heroes.

I was a mother effen heimer Ghostbuster.
The child that still resides in 1985 was scratching his way to the surface. I remember going to see the first showing of this timeless classic at The Boulevard Theater in south Minneapolis (off of Lyndale and Diamond lake road. it is now a Hollywood Video, Subway and some other little bistro. but the marquee is still there. Telling me that childhood memories are easily replaced with whatever passes for 'Progress'

I found myself in a huge old mansion. I was on the top floor which looked like a cross between a warehouse used for a rehearsal for 'FAME' and the top floor of Edward Scissorhand's house. Bill Murray and I were sweeping up the years of dust and debris. Come to think about it, he was just there. I was doing all the work. While sweeping, I noticed a small spider was biting my knuckles. I am sure this means something, but I am also sure that Bill Murray not doing any work means more.
In dreams, you transition quickly into rooms and situations. This was no different. I was descending what must have been the servant's stairwell. to go see what the others were up to.
Going up the stairs at a very fast pace was Fred Beukema. A friend from Minneapolis, and one of the members of the now defunct Mime Rifle improv team.
He was wearing a white labcoat, and I asked him if he thought it was as cool as I did that we were Ghostbusters. He said that he wasn't a ghostbuster, just a token scientist. I was upset for him.

Bill Murray and I made it to the great hall of the Mansion, where the other members of the group were. In the room with them were their wives and children.
They were going through what looked to be the contents of a sizeable costume and prop collection from a large theatre. I later realized that that is what the mansion used to be: A Theatre.

I remember all the Ghostbusters being excited at all the ornate costumes. The wives were sitting there not amused.
I called out 'remember everyone, if you find any knives or swords, I call dibs'
Just then, Dan Ackroyd yelled "I found one!" he was holding up a huge battle axe.
All of the other Ghostbusters immediately held up swords and weapons of their own and were very excited. Ackroyd then threw the battle axe up to the ceiling in a swift cartoonish motion. The tip of the axe caught his beltloop and through the magic of dreams, he went up with it. The axe stuck in the ceiling, and he was dangling there like a scene from a Laurel & Hardy movie. Everyone laughed except for Ernie Hudson who was genuinely worried about his friend.

And then Lisa woke me up.

So that was my rather anti-climactic dream about Ghostbusting. But mostly sweeping floors with Bill Murray. And seeing Fred, who I haven't seen in a long time.

Did I mention that Harold Ramis only responded to the name 'Tricky'? I doubt that has any meaning at all.

In other news, I have moved my tickets with some degree of difficulty to November 4th.
I don't think there is anything more anti-climactic than that, considering my mood about it. More on that another time.

Stay Awesome,
Andy

I'm a tease...

Remind me to tell you about a terrific dream I had yesterday. it was so good!

Precursor: I was a Ghostbuster. Oh you are excited!

Ever yours,

Andy

Now dig this.

A writer apparently writes. I am told this by many dear friends who want me to better myself and get out of this cloudy funk I have been in for the past Summer.
Now it is fall.
With Fall comes the staying indoors almost all of the time, watching paint dry or catching up on shows via Hulu.
I have been getting out more the last few days. Being social has taken away a lot of time I usually devote to brooding.
My break up with Amanda had a huge toll on me. And now she has officially moved on, so I need to follow suit.
Unfortunately, I still care a great deal for her and have the whole 'living next door' thing going on. I know I want her to be a part of my life, but most understand the need to keep a distance after a split. If only to actually achieve a level of friendship. Ours has been strained. I know it's a two way thing, but I am prone to take it all on my shoulders.
Not healthy, I know.
Fuck it. I can talk till I'm blue int eh face about it, but it boils down to me finally understanding/accepting that I can do not one blasted thing about what went wrong with us.
I'm moving on. Slowly and with unsure footing. Recently, I had to come to terms with this at about 100 miles an hour. Which is pretty fast if you are used to running only 25 minute miles.
I'm taking a lot of things with me from this Summer in Indiana. One is a diminished trust for relationships, which is good, since I don't want one for a while. Of course, people say this, and then hop right into one. Hopefully I can be strong and stick to my guns. It sounds worse than it is. But I have a penchant for the dramatic...
And yes, I am going back home. The flip flop and sudden clarity amidst foggy judgment is done. I will not talk about this anymore. The moving/living/staying/going thing.
I may delve into feelings and heartache on occasion, but I trust anyone who reads this is used to me by now.

But yeah. I feel like a fuckup. My own doing, I know. I decide how I feel.
I'm going to be back in Minneapolis hopefully within a month. (early November)
Whether or not I can still do the MNCS at the Beat remains to be seen. Kepp your fingers crossed that I haven't burned any bridges with Joel by being gone when i have said I would be back. I am also worried about people in MN who are sick of my indecisive bullshit. I suppose those who are done with me are the ones not worth it. But I do so like being liked... Or 'Like Liked' My gods, am I insatiable or what?
Also, I will be needing a job, so if you have any leads or are hiring someone yourself, please keep me in mind.
I am trying to not look at this as a tail between my legs thing.
This is positive, and very badly needed.
I don't really care for how I have handled things here, nor my attitude about much of anything.
Lisa says it isn't a geographical thing, and I know it isn't. But this has become, for me, a geographical thing. I am complex with many many layers of drama. Much like an onion who only does Mamet plays.

I did just get off the phone with Joel. So there is an edit to be made.
The 3rd season of The Monday Night Comedy show will be taking place on November 16th.
I'm going to go celebrate now, because it's been a while since I have looked forward to something I really really needed.
Maybe things are looking up.

I will be remembering what it means to Stay Awesome.

More soon,
Andy

And so we move ever onward...

I am non confrontational by nature. Maybe it came from being Minnesotan. Maybe it came from living with My Dad during the years when I should have been fighting and cussing and gettin' bloodied up and wrastlin' bears. I just don't fight well.
I can sign petitions till my fingers are wobbly, and I can click a facebook application that somehow magically makes rainforests grow back or makes people realize that punching kids is wrong. I can actually click those apps longer than I can sign petitions.
I don't remember protesting anything in my life. I mean the kind you go to and hold a sign and chant a rhyming couplet that is both clever and thought provoking.
Maybe I don't go looking for things like that.
I heard that North Central High School is mounting a production of 'The Laramie Project'
That is the play based on the murder of Matthew Shephard, who in 1998 was killed because he was homosexual.
He was a victim of a hate crime, which I think is a ridiculous label for any kind of crime. He was murdered. That is a bad enough crime. You don't have to qualify it.
His Mother probably doesn't think much about the 'why he's dead' but much more the 'he is dead'
Her loss was 11 years ago, and this play about the townsfolk reaction to his murder (I have not seen it) is still making people think about how awful people can be to each other because of differences.
It is also being protested. Or rather, has been protested as of thursday afternoon.
apparently there is a church in Kansas that is all about hating things because they string up phrases from the bible and take them as literal truth. With unwavering devotion. Anyway, this group of churchy zealots travel all across the country holding up signs that say awful things.
Things like 'God Hates Fags' and 'Matthew Shephard is Burning in Hell' They also have ones that say Obama is the Beast, but I don't think that has anything to do with being gay...
Every once in a while you try and wrap your head around why people are the way they are. Obviously it has a lot to do with parenting. Kids don't really have a say in what religion they are a part of, their parents make the choice for them.
It must be the same way with hate.
I am really really glad my folks didn't hate anyone. I can't remember any point in my life where I heard anything mean come from my Mom. And while I lived with how intimidating my Father was, he didn't spout off racist comments or tell me I shouldn't be friends with certain people. I feel lucky because I have to make a conscious choice to dislike someone, But it is never about what color their skin is, or who their heart chooses to love. I dislike people because they are fucking assholes.
But you, I'm pretty sure you are alright.
If I ever am lucky enough to have children (not looking too good for your 31+ hero), I would hope that that is one trait I could pass to them. And it isn't like it would be a hard thing. It would really suck to have a racist kid, because then they would fall under that whole 'Fucking asshole' category.
Also, every racist person I have ever met is physically unattractive. I would have good looking tolerant children.
I felt I was going somewhere with that. Sorry for losing the choo choo of thought.

In other news, I am Roller Derby crazy.
Lisa, pants and I went to the farmer's market a couple weeks ago and wandered into the big building that serves as the nerve center of Ellenberger park. There was a Roller derby practice going on for the Circle City Socialites. I loved going to MN Rollergirl bouts with John, and a couple of Northstar Bouts with Haugie and Linds. I missed it. If you get a chance, you should go.
It was a closed practice, so one of the refs skated over and kicked us out. But before he did, I chatted him up and found that there is a Men's league that is taking novice skaters. And that is SO me. I cannot skate at all. But I am willing to fall as many times as it takes to eventually fuck some shit up. And that is ironic, because as stated earlier, I am non confronty. Yet here I am waning to be on a team sport. The geeky theatre kid in me cries alone in the night...
Sadly, this all costs money that selling plasma will not finance.
So the job hunt continues, and one more lofty idea is placed on a shelf next to unread books and letters that deserve replies.

In personal news, I am still single and looking for absolutely nothing to change that. I feel like I should be on the prowl, but think that it's best I am alone to think about shit and why I am the way I am and write blogs about nothing in particular. I hear chicks dig that. And scars...

As per usual, Stay Awesome.

Andy

Huh. That's odd.

The new post is below the last one. i don't know how that happened, and i am sure I cannot do it again.

Later...

A promise.

I swear by the moon and the stars and the sky that I will post tomorrow.
I have one in the works, but you know me as the guy who takes days and weeks to produce little content.

And in the end, you get no quality or content.

This is my promise to you.


here is something to keep you busy:


Romeo & Juliet by Dire Straits

A lovestruck romeo sings a streetsus serenade
Laying everybody low with me a lovesong that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight steps out of the shade
Says something like you and me babe how about it ?

Juliet says hey its romeo you nearly gimme a heart attack
Hes underneath the window shes singing hey la my boyfriends back
You shouldnt come around here singing up at people like that
Anyway what you gonna do about it ?

Juliet the dice were loaded from the start
And I bet and you exploded in my heart
And I forget the movie song
When you wanna realise it was just that the time was wrong juliet ?

Come up on differents streets they both were streets of shame
Both dirty both mean yes and the dream was just the same
And I dreamed your dream for you and your dream is real
How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals ?

Where you can fall for chains of silver you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything you promised me think and thin
Now you just says oh romeo yeah you know I used to have a scene with him

Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above Ill love you till I die
Theres a place for us you know the movie song
When you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong juliet ?

I cant do the talk like they talk on tv
And I cant do a love song like the way its meant to be
I cant do everything but Id do anything for you
I cant do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All do is keep the beat and bad company
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme
Julie Id do the stars with you any time

Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above Ill love you till I die
Theres a place for us you know the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong Juliet ?

A lovestruck romeo sings a streetsus serenade
Laying everybody low with me a lovesong that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight steps out of the shade
Says something like you and me babe how about it ?



I was just thinking about that song last night.

Till then, Stay Awesome.

Andy

As promised.

August has come and gone.
It seems like I was just saying that about July and talking about how it was my birthday.
Now, as it so happens, I am just shy of two months into my 31st year.
Things are going about on par with everything thus far.
I love it when I rhyme without intention.

There is an edit to make in my super sad and awful posting from a couple weeks ago:
I wrote that I 'hated it here'
Well, In little bracket-like-parenthesis-do jobs, I wrote 'Taps on chest'
It was a metaphor for where I am inside.
The head is clear enough, but I found myself growing tired of the usual parenthesis

THIS JUST IN AS OF 9/17/2009

MUCH More editing and time passes.

The nights keep getting colder and lonelier in the House of Danger.
My name will remain the same for a long time due to the loss of what was a new beginning to a blossoming relationship. Had i gotten married, it would have become
Andrew (David) Danger King-Brynildson. I still do like that 'Danger King' part...
The story is sad but true:
In which, Amanda and I were together for what seemed like moments. Trying again to have what was a trying long distance relationship while I was in Minneapolis, and she was here in Indy.
That 'getting back together' was one of the main reasons why the updates were so few and far between. I was happy we were back on a 'together' track, but as it turns out, it wasn't meant to last for very long.
Lots of staring off into space with glazed over eyes and a hollow pit in what was once my inside area.
You know the drill: Food tastes bad, but is still there to comfort you because it wants you as much as you want it (food is love/eat your emotions in the form of sugary snacky things). Music only has lyrics aimed at the lonely broken hearted. Sunsets are avoided because what's the point in looking at them alone? You watch laugh out loud comedies and when you actually do laugh out loud it feels weird because you think you should be crying instead. And then, of course, you do cry because you want this all to go away.
You go through all this for the Glory and the Power of love, but there isn't any Pat Morita to train you into a fighting machine.
If you caught that reference, I applaud you.
So I mope and I dwell and I drink and I sit stone faced in the company of friends because I am too sad to do much else. And then I lather, rinse, repeat.
You have been there, I am there now, we shall all go down together...
I will move on because I don't care much for thinking about something that in my mind was leading to an alter made of stones with groups of friends and family watching and waiting for the cake and the dancing.
That stuff will have to wait for someone else. Probably Bill and Jen, who tie the knot in October of next year. (Where I will STILL be the Officiant...What? Still you say? Was there any doubt? Read on, dear reader, read on)

I am lost right now. Not lost in the sense that I am on an Island filled with book clubs and Polar Bears (can you tell I only got to Season 2 of lost? Maybe a bit of season 3?)
I'm trying to find where I belong. What clan I should be wearing the tartan of.
What zip code to make people send all those letters that I need to receive, yet have no drive or follow through to send letters of my own out. Did that make sense? I'm lazy. It boils down to that. i should write a fucking letter sometime. jeez.
Moving. The tour must keep moving....
I was supposed to be here two months and some change.
It was a three hour tour as it were, and I had the tickets all set up for my triumphant return to the Twin Cities where I could safely be that guy who lives in him Mother's basement and thinks about what he did wrong in life to get him to that station.
Instead, I am a guest in a house of one of my best friends, her husband (who might as well be my Brother) and their Daughter who is the light of anyone's life just by looking at her and seeing her smile.
I do what I can around the house to help out. I turn off lights that they accidentally leave on, I do the dishes when everyone is asleep and I cobble shoes in the night so that they can have some bread with their soup. Seriously, does no one understand me but me? Is this thing even on?

At any rate, I am going through a mid life crisis a bit earlier than scheduled. I have very low self esteem in regards to every part of my life. Be it Job, relationships or body issues, I am in a dark and stormy place. The way I see it, I need a challenge. Something so terrifying to me that it kicks my ass in gear and I start moving forward in an upward direction.
I see myself as moving forward in a stay in the same rut kind direction. It needs to stop. I need to grow as a person. And as several other things.
There are things I want to do, and to do them (and I know it sounds stupid to some)I need to stay in Indy for a bit.

I am sure more on that later, as I need to explain more. Right now, I am at a loss.

My writing has slowed down to a trickle in the last few weeks, and it is troubling. But i still have the desire to do it, just not the drive. I need to pick up a six pack of motivation and change my heathen ways.
At least I kind of like typing.
My father gave me an old typewriter of his that he used for work years ago. He even had an extra box of ribbons, so the thing should last the rest of my life. it's one of those huge electric ones with the ball of letters instead of the arms that have one letter a piece.
It weighs about a hundred pounds.
I call it Beast. Sometimes I have found myself calling it Hank McCoy, but that is for another blog about being a nerd.
For all its glory, Beast will pale in comparison to the machine that awaits me in Minnesota. Lindsey and Roni got me an antique typewriter for my birthday. It needs new ribbon, but I am sure I can find somewhere that would have it. And it is about 100 years old. Excited for that is an understatement.
yep. loads of stuff. I have forgotten most of what I wanted to tell you. I have heard from a few people that they were worried about me because I sort of fell off the face of the planet.
Even my precious facebook has suffered my absence.
But I am back now, and ready to hold your hands as I help you up the mountain of life as we hike into tomorrow and other metaphors I am too lazy to write too much more just now.

Puppy update:
A while ago, I mentioned that we had found a puppy in the middle of the street.
She was left by some asshat in a huge hoopty with penis compensation rims.
he opened the passenger door. Pushed her out. Closed the door. Drove away.
We immediately fed and watered her.
I instantly fell in love with her, for she is a puppy.
And that night, we decided to adopt her forever and ever.
By 'that night' I mean after we had gone to The Metro, Josh Carson's favourite bar in Indianapolis, to sing karaoke.
We were a bit tipsy when we got home, and though I wanted to call her 'Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer' I was outvoted.
Since we had been singing total Eclipse of the Heart at the top of our lungs at the bar, Bonnie Tyler was the official name of the dog.
she is a Black lab/ German Shepherd mix.
Very friendly, and near perfect. All she needs is wings and fire breath. Those things would make the perfect puppy. Maybe a unicorn horn... But I digress.
Amanda added a middle name of 'Olivia' and since it was not rejected outright, it too has stuck. I secretly call her 'Starfire' in my head, though. Tell no one.

I assure you I will tell more later, as there is other stuff I want to talk about.
Tonight i am going out to try and develop some kind of social life outside of these sacred walls.

Wish me luck. I don't really like clubs.

Stay Awesome for me.

Andy

fail

no home
no job
no money
no love
no kids
no family


Is this what it's like to hit rock bottom? to realize fully and wholly that every decision you have made thus far has resulted in failure?
This is not 'staying awesome'
this is something much much darker. staying awesome didnt mean anything anyway.
there was a post before this, but it doesn't matter anymore.
I hate it here now. .
I am in Carmel for three and a half days.
so begins my vision quest.


I was raised better than this.

No Time. No Time

Very short, no time to dawdle.


Helped with gardening all day.

Some asshole stopped in front of our house, opened up his passenger side door, leaned over and closed it, then drove away.

We thought that the door was just opened a bit and he stopped to close it.

Nope.

After he drove away, there was a little puppy in the middle of the road.
It is about 8 or 9 weeks old and a girl puppy.
She is loving and wonderful.
If anyone can give her a good home in the surrounding area, we will bring her to you.
I have named her 'StarFire'

Tonight we are going to the Metro to sing karaoke.
It is a gay bar, and the last time I was there, they were still asking about Josh Carson.

I will try and write more about my adventurous day later.

Stay Awesome.

Andy

and then there was rock.

As more things distract me from doing what is on my list of To-Do's, my silly blogs about silly things that mean nothing to you tend to take almost 48 hours to complete. you would think I could add some poignant things in here, but what would I be if 'Rambling Lunatic' wasn't something that described me?
Anyway, here's a thing:

Last night I embarked on a sentimental journey through the forgotten realms of Hell.
These are the levels that Dante thought about, then realized that they were much too tricky to describe.
The parts where mullets go to die.
And yet, they are embraced there too.
I entered a paradox of wondrous eye narcotics tonight.
It was good, yet the most evil I have encountered in my many years as Secretary of Inhuman Affairs. (not an actual position)
Tonight I went to a concert.
Not just any concert.
It was a family reunion of Cheap Trick, Poison and Def Leppard.
To say that it was epic would be saying the Titanic was a nice little yacht or that Seline Dion is pretty good at the banjo. (let your mind go with these things)

Here is my account of an evening that happened only 14 hours ago. No holds barred.
I just got home to Lisa and Jame's house. (From my Step Mom's place in Carmel, where I slept in the bed I slept in when Jr. High was a place to meet people and learn how to dismantle a gun.)I was staying there for a couple of days to help out my Dad. He has a bionic knee, and doesn't move very fast with heavy boxes of books.
Please enjoy.

Father and I enjoyed a nice afternoon of sifting through things.
He gave me many things, and bits of wonderful memories that I am surprised he parted with.
The last few days weren't as bad as I thought they would be. I still wish things were different, but at least both of them (Dad and Judy) know that I love them very dearly. Talking to Amanda helped calm my nerves, as I was about to lose my shit just before I spoke with her. Her timing is uncanny. Like an X-Man.
Lisa picked me up and we were on our way to Jason's (Fingers) house in Noblesville.
There, we ate and started to drink ourselves into a merry stupor.
Stephanie, his wife, and Sophia, their daughter were there to eat with us but did not partake in the rum that was flowing like an avalanche coming down a mountain.
As the time wore on, we were discussing the finer points of how to sneak booze into the concert venue.
I had brought a couple of stowaway airplane bottles that I thought were small enough to hide in a clever place. Sadly, my clever places meant my pants.
I managed to put two bottles in my 'down there' region. I did put them in a ziplock baggie so others might partake should they have become inclined. (and not discouraged by their proximity to my Man parts.
We knew we needed to bring the Rum, but had no way of getting the half gallon jug past security.
being the industrious and aspiring WC Fields that I am, I filled some baggies with the amber coloured Pirate kool aid and then double bagged them for quality assurance.
Lisa stuffed Andrea's bra with about a half bottle's worth of rum. I also filled two baggies and rolled them up in my sleeves, since I am prone to wearing a button down long sleeved shirt even on the hottest of days. But never a short sleeved shirt. never. Ever. It is my way...
So we are now walking to Deer Creek music Center that is now called 'Cell Phone Company that bought it and changed the name so everyone who come to this venue will suddenly switch carriers'
I still call it Deer Creek. I graduated high school there, and am a bit nostalgic. just a bit.
The place to rock is about a mile from Finger's house.
We went from fully developed housing areas that all were a shade of brown to areas that were about to become housing in varying shades of brown. Then we hit corn, and then we walked through the VIP gate of Deer Creek.
It was really just the area where all the Limos that people rented were parked, but we felt like VIP's anyway. First stop, of course was the port o pottie.
Since we walked in lieu of getting a ride from Stephanie, we missed Poison play that one song they play. (Just kidding)
Cheap Trick was breaking the hearts of girls who were not alive when Cheap Trick was a new band. And the amount of people there was amazing. I didn't think it would have been us and a couple other people, but Damn! It seems that these three bands found their target demographic with everyone anywhere ever. There must have been over five thousand, and I think I'm being stingy. We went to the police Cop who was checking ID's and stamping hands with the simple word 'Alcohol'
Fingers went first, and i think Lisa and Andrea got stamped too. i'm a little fuzzy on that.
When I met the PoliceCop, I pulled out my wallet (half in the bag already)and dropped my ticket. Fingers grabbed it for me. Thanks, Fingy. Then I struggled to get my ID out of the plastic thing in the wallet.
Then, as he was checking his memory about whether Minnesota is a real place of not, the two airplane bottles of booze fell out of my underwear. I guess they finally had enough, and now the gig was up. I didn't even get to see my one armed Def Leppard Drummer.
I guess Fingers, Lisa and Andrea saw the bottles fall out and were rolling on the ground laughing at me.
The PoliceCop didn't miss a beat (no pun intended) and said "If you drop one more thing, I'm not going to stamp you."
I told him I wouldn't. And he believed me. The fool!
Of course there was a tent set up where Camel was handing out free stuff, and as I am a sucker for free crap, we all went in and got free packs of smokes and some tins of Snus, that will never be used except for projectiles to hurl at the squirrels who are ruining Lisa and the girls garden at home.
Fingers decided it would be a good idea to spend $12 on a whiskey/coke in a plastic cup.
That's right.
Twelve American Dollars.
Six Dollars is too much, and twelve is 100% more than that.
I did however, think it was needed to pay $5 for a 20 ounce bottle of coke.
We needed something to put the rum in, didn't we?
And put the Rum in we did.

We found a spot to sit/stand in the nosebleed section of the lawn and everyone emptied our pockets/bras/ sleeves of booze that were now at body temp for easier absorption into our systems.
Then we listened to Def leppard sing about being cool and British. Very British. Even I wanted to help God save the Queen after it was done.

Cut to after the encore, and the thousands of people filed out. We just stayed on the blanket and dreamed about tomorrow or something.
When we did leave, I might have been a bit tipsy.
Just a touch.
I think my blood alcohol level was holding steady at around 56% Of my total blood.
No big deal.
Walking through an Indiana Summer night after being bombarded with rock music and booze is something I want all of you to experience.
Doing it with friends is a must, as they will keep you safe no matter what.
On second thought, no. No they won't.
I thought it would be a good idea to have a Gentleman's wager and claim that I didn't think that anyone would give me 5$ to go into the adjacent cornfield.
Lisa told me she would do just that.
And so I bolted into the corn that was just a bit shorter than I am.
Lisa decided she wanted to get eaten by a monster too, so she followed me directly.
Fingers and Andrea were watching us, walking along the drive, and listening to Lisa and I giggle at our cleverness. All the while, the top of my head was popping up over the stalks of corn. When we popped out along the road that would lead us back to Finger's house, I challenged a big sign to topple down. If that happened, I would have been the winner of an incredible prize: Another $5 from Lisa.
Sadly, the sign was very sturdy, though the passing cars were very supportive of me getting my prize money. They honked and cheered me on. to no avail...
Being bested by a sign that tells you than new homes started in the low 160's is humbling to a normal man.
Good thing I was enjoying the short term memory of a goldfish at that time.
As we strolled(stumbled) back through neighborhoods where the houses all look the same, I tripped and skinned my leg, just below the knee.
These things happen, and chicks dig scars.

By the time we got back to Finger's house, the girls were sober enough to drive home and for some reason we had the obligatory solar lights that I am so prone to acquire during nights of drunken revelry.

Lisa got me back to My step Mom's house and I slept the sleep of the just and true until my Dad got me up to load things into his storage space.

Now I am back in Irvington, and it is Annabeth's First Birthday.
I'm sure we will sit around watching her play with plastic cups and be completely oblivious to the fact that today is her most important day of the year.
But we will all be together, and that's all that matters.

In other news, I was told that Bill and Jen will be getting married next year, to which I exclaimed 'Whoo hoo' upon hearing.
Bill also asked on behalf of them both to officiate their wedding. I am very honored to be asked, and am looking forward to their big day in October 2010.
The days keep flying by for me here,and I am constantly asking myself what happens next.

Till what happens next,

Stay Awesome & Happy Birthday, AnniePants.

Andy

Update # 7

One of my favourite pieces of music is Mozart's Clarinet Quintet. (Coming in a close second to the song called 'I spell some words like I am from the UK. Deal with it')
Most widely known as what Major Charles Emerson Winchester III taught his Korean POW's to play on the last episode of MASH.
I used to watch MASH with my Mom almost every day. It's a good memory. I like the show a lot. Not many people fess up to that.
But seeing as how I am the most emotional-sentimental person in my little world, I am not ashamed.
I was listening to it play in my head this morning as I woke up from a very restless sleep. I don't know whay it was in there. But in there it was. No matter how hard I tried to get it out with a few verses of Rick Springfield's 'Jessie's Girl'
The Springfield always gets songs out of your head. He's like the pickled ginger you use to cleans your pallet between bites of sushi. If your mind were your pallet, and you tended to speak in metaphor. Of course, I don't do that. I am simple and clear in anything I write. So there.
Today he didn't work.
And he always works. Every time. Like Colt 45.
So today is the day that Rick Springfield betrayed me.
July 17th.
Remember it well, as he will betray you too.
It isn't like I'm clawing at my head to get the Mozart out. I like it. But it also for some reason reminds me of how much I missed my Mom when I was a pre-teen living in Carmel Indiana.
I wasn't very happy then. And I keep wondering why exactly that is. I'm toiling with a lot of stuff right now that should take precedence over my general mood when i was ten years old till about 16. After sixteen, i had reached an agreement with myself that it was alright to live my life as I saw fit, even though I may not have been in the exact locale I thought was a perfect fit for me.
It may all boil down to a very protective instinct I have for my mom. I moved, and she was alone. she needed me to help out around the house. There are other things, like my Dad not showing me very much affection when I lived with him, but that is stuff for another posting. (we are fine now, my dad and I)
Last night, I felt like I needed to protect. It was a strange feeling, not because I don't feel that way all the time. i would punch a bear, I'd like to think, if it were trying to eat my friends. Last night, I felt a need to protect myself. There's the rub. That shit is out of place, and very rarely happens.

The tricky thing about writing anything is that it rarely happens when you want it to. The writing, I mean. I can hope to produce a mountain of things both interesting and poignant, but more often than not, i stare at the screen and wish I were better at sports or building Model trains or baking or doing anything but writing.

My schedule is very open, yet I always seem to have things to do.
This is why a lot of the things I write here sometimes take a week to post.
There are always adventures I need to have with various so and so's. Believe me, I'd rather be on an adventure than writing a mish mash of sad mopey bits.
This one, of course is no different.
My adventures yesterday prevented me from finishing up this blog, and now I don't really feel the same way as I did. I still feel like protecting myself from whatever inevitable fall i have built up in my head to be the end all climax to whatever whatever... I just have a vivid imagination that wreaks havoc on me. I make mountains out of mole hills and really need to take a breath every once in a while, count to ten and keep moving on.
But if drama doesn't show itself, then I have to manufacture it.
Just one of the many things we here at Andy Brynildson are attempting to improve upon so you can better enjoy me.

Yesterday i went with Lindsay and Snarky Andrew to various places that included an arcade/gamey fun place called 'great times' I found myself in a batting cage for the first time in my life. (I hit one that was very good. The rest resembled all those years in little league that I never participated in)
we won tickets for skee ball, and won dinosaurs and friendship rings and little parachute men.
When we tried to find an ice cream store to calm our racing adrenaline, we ended up finding a wine bar. The only logical 'next best thing'
One bottle of Cab, a plate of meat/cheese/crackers and a bottle of Port later: We decided that it had been the best day up this point.
I saw the house that Andrew owns and fell in love with it. I have a friend who is looking at rentals, you see. It's in the shady part of town, but aside from it being perfect, it is perfect.
Where do you go when your day is going so well?
Hogwarts, of course.
Harry Potter and the prisoner of deathly secret goblets and half blood sorcerers phoenix should only be seen in a drive-in.
As a matter of fact, all movies should be seen in a Drive-in.
And in that drive-in should be your be your best friends.
And more port wine.

All in all, things have been going pretty well. Always room for improvement on all fronts. But if I had to make a list of good things and bad things, there would be like three things on the bad side and a thousand on the good.
things are looking up. (He said, as the other shoe dropped)
Not going so well for the book I'm supposed to be working on. I am pathetically low on finished pages, and am still looking for my muse to inspire me to greatness.
I do have a hot date with a symphony on Tuesday, so maybe I'll get some inspiration there.


More soon.

Stay Awesome

Andy

I'll take recap for 37 please, Alex.

And so it was. I became 31 years old last Friday night. Cells have died and been recreated several time since birth, and here we go with a who' who and what's what of the celebration of an anniversary of the making of a person who answers to the name 'Andy' But I prefer Danger king... And I am considering being okay with Tater Tot. But that last one is still in the R & D Department.

Dateline: Friday July 10 2009.
Location: The Irvington Neighborhood of Indianapolis Indiana. A place that I am liking very much, as I am surrounded by the best of the best.
Don't worry, internet travelers and Twin Cities residents, you still are ok in my book. For now. Dun Dun Dun.

I tried waking as early as my old and frail body would allow.
My dreams were a mixture of worrying about disastrous car crashes and unknown whereabouts of loved ones. Not a great night of dreaming, but it was on my mind as I fell asleep. It turns out, I CAN save people's lives in my REM cycles, and consider myself a hero in dreamland. And I wear a cape. But it is a tasteful number that compliments my legs, which I am told look pretty good. And that is from a trusted source.

There were a few text messages, and a few phone calls before i sauntered out to appreciate my kingdom.
Hellos and good wishes came my way, and the dreams of the previous night were quickly dissolving into vague memory.
Amanda had to work in the morning, so I was left with Lindsay and Lisa. Anniepants too, so I wasn't alone to contemplate my destiny just yet. There were things that had to be done. Errands for me usually only include one stop to the Speedway (SuperAmerica) to buy various sundries like hot dogs and Powerade in the refreshing red and orange flavors.
But Lindsay agreed to go on a quest with me to a couple of thrift stores so I could find a black suit jacket that I could wear later that night when masses would gather in my honor and sing covers of popular songs while drinking heavily.
Since I am a big guy, most jackets at thrift stores are much too small.
As was the case with both of the ones we went to.
I wish overweight guys would donate more clothing.
That, or I wish i wouldn't rely on gas stations for more of the food I consume daily.
Out of curiosity, we stopped by a big store simply called 'Flea Market'
It was amazing. I found things there that I didn't know I needed yet, and still even more stuff after that.
As if drawn by a higher power, we found ourselves at the 'Peddlers Mall' which was a brightly lit, cleaner version of The Flea Market. (The Flea Market smelled of cooking chili made with meat slaughtered in the back courtyard of a nearby apartment complex. Still, it is never good to go to a place called 'Flea Market' on an empty stomach, as your personal values go out the window. Still, we resisted)
Lindsay picked up a very attractive piece that takes my breath away every time I see it. To call it simply a piece of wood with a picture of two Unicorns would make the gods angry.
There are no words for its glory. The craftsmanship. The patina that seems to glow with the fantastic power of a thousand dying suns. The amazmagorical beasts themselves with the powerful horns and strong bodies waiting to enchant you and heft you upon their back to take you to the castle where you will cast a spell of magical power on a damsel who needs a good rogering...A Magical Rogering...
It is so beautiful. It is the only thing that matters in these darkest of times. It is a fucking piece of wood that someone decopaged a unicorn picture onto and then left it to rot in a dungeon until it chose the correct owner. And that owner was Lindsay. She may think she purchased it, but it purchased her. And it looks quite fancy above the fireplace next to my batman action figure and battle axe.
I thought that the prize for best find couldn't be attained, but in the end, I won.
I picked up the head of Darth Vader that you wear over your own head. And it makes you sound like him. Or you can press a button on the candy dispenser thing he wears on his chest to make James Earl Jones tell you that you cannot resist the power of the darkside. Or in this case, the Peddlers Mall.

Then we went to Meijer and she was offered one of the motorized carts by the nice pre-teen girl who saw Lindsay's broken ankle.
Lindsay promptly refused, which I will never ever forgive her for if I live to be a thousand years old and we all have hover jet packs.
I wanted to ride the cart. It was my birthday, and she betrayed me.
I have an enemy, and while her taste in wall decor is impeccable, she broke the number one rule:

If a store employee offer you the motorized cart thing, you take it. When you crash into the Paper towel display, it is her ass, not yours.
It was like getting the keys to the Bentley and saying that you would rather take the razor scooter to get to prom.

On my list, Shiv. On my list...

However, I did forget to tell that i found a very impressive sculpture with an owl on top for Amanda. She likes owls, and ceramic things from the 70's. I know I won her heart with that. Though she may smash it to bits when I turn my back. It's the thought that counts, right?

Then what? well, I wrote to my Mom, posted a blog and got ready for the night's festivities.

We went to Nippers Bar and Grill in Carmel to sing Karaoke.
I was visited by the Birthday Pig, which is a tradition in Lisa's family that I had always wanted to be a part of. The Birthday pig sent me Thirty One cupcakes (one for each year I have been around)that kicked ass and helped to soak up the booze that we were all drinking with reckless abandon.
Songs were sung, and lots of video taken.
I was with wonderful people, and I didn't forget for a moment how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends.
I asked Fingers to drop his talent for singing down a few notches so as to not appear better than me. Sadly, his worst performance was ten times better than my worst. I still managed to have a great time.
Some of the best pictures from the night are posted up on facebook, and I am in charge of adding the second batch.
More to come, i am sure.
Krysta Kendall, an old friend from high school dropped by to say hi, even though it was her 10 year wedding anniversary.
I was touched, and it was good to meet the man she has chosen to spend her life with.
Nice guy too. Looks like my friend Dave Mitch From Minneapolis. It kind of freaked me out a little.
There was an Andrea Grube there, and a Matthew Russ, and a Brooke Nelson, and The Snarky Andrew, And a Brett Stevens, and a Jenny Macias and a Jeremy Murray and a Stephanie Lenger and a Dark Snack, whose real name is Wendy, but I know her through LiveJournal. She apparently lives in irvington, and might become chummy with the girls.
My dorch gang was all there, save for Jenny & Hammam. They couldn't make it due to having a teeny tiny baby boy named Adam. I missed them a lot and wished they were able to watch me massacre Bon Jovi.
Having the majority of my people there was the best gift. It's hard to wrangle them all together. kind of like herding cats. Amanda, Lindsay, Lisa, James, Jenny, Hammam Fingers, Jen: I love you all to the Moon and back.

The night was perfect, and it was one for the memory books.
I was hugged by many and loved by all. And the fact that it was my birthday didn't matter. I know they would do that on any regular day.

Did I mention that everyone looked wicked hot? Well, the women did, anyway. It was hard to make eye contact, and i was dizzy from being so proud of the fact that I surround myself with attractive ladies just like Charlie and his angels.

At 11:11pm, I made sure I was outside looking up at the sky. it's become a tradition for me to be alone for a few moments so I can thank whoever is responsible for my good fortune and anything else that seems to be going well.
Then, as if by cue, my Amanda came outside to make sure she was the first person I kissed as a 31 year old. Wishes do come true sometimes.

Being older isn't so bad. I went to cracker Barrel the next day to inaugurate me into the ranks of the elderly, and the fact that I drank coffee during dinner was a sign of respect for the good Scandinavians who came before me... And I may have wanted to buy a quilt... Whatever. I have more years ahead than behind still.

Thank you to all who sent me good wishes, and those who showed up to sing with me.

Here is to the next year, I wish that every night would end with Amanda in a Vader helmet dancing the Vogue.

Stay Awesome.

Andy